My Boyfriend is an Otaku

Chapter Eight;

It's been a week since the incident between Sebastian and I. He hasn't talked to me and I haven't talked to him either. It almost feels abnormal not associating with him daily. Not that I want to, I'm just pointing out the obvious. I was fine, before he starting to drag himself into my preserved life. I never asked him to.

I look out the window, seeing all the orange,red,yellow trees. I watch as the air sweep away the colorful leaves from their homes. The leaves fly around, helplessly. They land on the ground, where they'll shortly welt away.

I haven't been myself this past week. I can't figure out why though. I've had the feelings of pain, even though I haven't let any one in. So, why am I hurting so dearly? I don't understand. Why do I feel so hollow? I haven't let anyone in, I don't know why I'm hurting. It doesn't make sense.

I look back down to my notes, noticing a wet spot on my paper. I reach my hands to my face and feel the sensation of wetness. What is happening? I must be having allergies. I wipe my eyes, taking out a manga. I look at the cover that reads, Blood Plus. I start to read, feeling the emptiness escape my body for awhile. I've been neglecting class lately, I don't know why that is.

The bell rings, so I pack up and head to my next class. I see Sebastian, he's talking to a group og girls. It bothers me, it really bothers me. I try to ignore this new fount feeling, that I've never felt before. I walk pass them and hope he doesn't see me. I go to my locker, then to my next class. I sit down and continue to read manga. The class goes by swiftly.

I go to the lunch room and sit down by myself. I talk out my lunch, chocolate cake and green tea in a bottle. I start to eat my delightable lunch and hear a loud boom of teenage laughter. I turn around and see that the sound came from a group of girls, who were all surrounded by Sebastian. I don't remember him ever being that funny. He notices me glaring, so I turn away and proceed to eat.

Why do I feel so empty? Why am I in pain, if I didn't let any one in? I haven't felt these feelings before. If I had to describe them, I'd say, jealousy, misery, pain, despondent. Why am I feeling this way?

I think harder, realizing why. I suppose I didn't absolutely hated his presence. And, I suppose I slightly enjoyed his company at times. I guess I also enjoyed the idea of having a friend. I would want Sebastian as a friend, but in the end, I'd have to deal with the pain. Why can't I have anybody? Why am I constantly pushing people away, when I know I need someone. I know I want someone to share memories with, to enjoy each other, I want a friend. I always convince myself a friend would be a waste of time, but deep down inside, I always wanted true friendship. I wanted someone to be there for me when I cry, or when I'm done. I always wanted a friend who would be by my side, no matter what. I wanted to have sleep overs and go to the park with friends. But, I don't have friends. And, it's all my fault, because I pushed everyone away who tried to be my friend.

I can feel something wet drop down my face, is this tears? I quickly wipe off my face and think of a plan, so that Sebastian will consider being my friend. How should I do this? I'd hate to ask him in front of a group of people, but he is always surrounded by people. I have to get him alone somehow. I think and think, and soon, come up a plan that might possibly work.

I see Sebastian and slowly walk towards the group of girls. Alois comes up behind me and sneaks his way into the crowd of girls.

''Claude is shirtless in the gym as we speak.'' He says, grinning evilly.

The group of girls are easily manipulated and dash to the gym, to soonly empty gym, with no Claude inside. I take Sebastian's hand and run to the nearest janator's closet. I open the door and slam it shut, tripping over mops and broom. It takes me a moment to catch my breath. I look up, to see a confused Sebastian.

''What is going on?'' He asks.

''I wanted to talk about something.'' I reply.

''About?''

''I was wondering if we could be''

''Be?''

''Be,be,be, be friends.''

''I thought you said you didn't want to be friends with me, you made that perfectly clear a week ago.''

''Well, I am ready to have a friend.''

''Why should I be your friend now?''

''Well..''

I look up and see his stern face. I feel the familiar tears rush down my face.

''I really need a friend. I never had someone there for me growing up, or even now. I'm tired of being alone and I understand if you don't want to be friends with me, I mean look at me. I look like some twelve year old. I'm selfish, preserved, rude, distance, but I still need someone, like everyone else.''

I feel arms wrap around me. Sebastian pats the back of my head, trying to comfort me. I let out all the tears I've been holding in all this times. I can feel myself tremble from all the crying.

''You know Ciel, I was planning on being your friend either way. I was just waiting to see how long it would take you to ask, I'm sorry.'' He says, breaking the silence.

''No, I'm sorry.''

''Don't be. I can understand why you wouldn't let people in. But, one day, you will completely open up to me. I promise.''

''So, we're friends?''

''Of course.''

My first ever friend.