❝ Magpapakasal na ang first love ni Nana for 10 years. Ang masaklap? Hindi siya ang bride. Huhu. ❞
Y Chronicles Universe
#SNMSL1 of Kabulastugan Boys Series
MNR COLLABORATION with @cappuchienooo & @nayinK
It's been almost a week since our last conversation. Ang tagal.. But you know me, right? I needed time to think through things. 😅
Sobrang important ka, hindi lang sa akin, kundi sa relationship namin so knowing your truth with your shaking voice that night dug a hole in my heart.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nasasaktan 😂
Alam mo ba? Sometimes we have those conversations and we talk about you. I'd ask for possibilities na what if you like him, and you confess, and you see him romantically. What would he do? He'd laugh as if it was so ridiculous and he'll say na ikaw yung bunso namin as if yun ang tamang sagot. Maybe because we see you as the girl we used to take care of who is now taking care of us too.
To be really honest, hindi ako masyadong nakatulog the first night after our convo. Nasa denial stage yata ako.. I felt angry 😦 and I hated that feeling. 😟
Thoughts started pouring in.. like bakit ganon? For 10 years, you've kept it a secret. For 10 years, you've been with us. Bakit inalagaan mo yung feelings? Ang daming gustong manligaw sayo through the years, ang daming gustong magparamdam.
I keep on wondering, why would you seek comfort from someone else na hindi naman na available?
Bakit hindi ka lumayo noon pa? Bakit ka pumayag na maging maid of honor? Why would you move mountains for our wedding? Why do you keep on making yourself available for us?
Were you waiting for him? Ang sakit sakit isipin nito, Nana. Hahaha gosh, para akong nabaliw saglit. Mas masakit pa yata yung thought na yun kesa kung magbreak kami kasi I was thinking na you, of all people, would do that to us?
Ang sakit sakit kahit alam ko namang hindi yon ang intention mo. When we had that call, gulong gulo ako but sabi mo nga, you want to let go kaya you're doing this.
Kaya I'm sorry rin for all these thought vomit. Alam kong nasasaktan kita sa mga sinasabi ng utak ko, and totoo nga... truth hurts for both of us.
You and I got along so well dahil parehas tayong overthinkers and he became our peace mula sa ingay ng mga utak natin. Siya yong nagpapatigil ng mga negative thoughts. Siya yong nakikipaglaban habang hawak tayo sa kamay.
Nasanay kasi tayong mag-isa sa buhay, right? Sarili lang natin masasandalan natin. Paano tayo if we're too weak to handle ourselves? Parehas tayong iniintindi palagi ang iba. Sila muna bago tayo. But there he is. Siya ang magsasandal sa atin. He's that reliable, he's that comforting, he's that full of kindness and love.
So I get it.
I super get it..
If I remember it right, you also said na you almost declined your cafe feature sa Guilty Reads dahil sa "guilt" na word and ayaw mong paulit-ulit yun makita.. and alam mo, if I were you, I'd do the same. Sinabi mo ring ang petty nun and natawa ako while thinking about it because same...
You and I, parehas nga talaga tayo.
I was looking at him while drafting this message, and he stared at me before touching the side of my eye to wipe a tear, and just like that, a thought came to me...
Who am I to question you for falling in love with him through the years? E ako rin naman..
I'll tell him you won't be coming, no problem with that but I'm not sure if kaya kong sabihin yung real reason mo. I want to, believe me. But for now? I don't know..
Maybe I'm not as brave as you, Nana. 😔 seen
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