The Winds of the Past [Rune Factory 4]

Chapter 43

In the days that followed Venti's passing, Avani sank into a deep depression. Not only had she lost her dear friend and mentor, but she also blamed herself for her death. The whole town mourned her loss, as was natural and fitting, and we four Guardians who had been her close friends for so long even more so. But none grieved as intensely as Avani.

The words of the townsfolk only added to her misery. Though kindly and well-meaning, they spoke of their loss without thought. Even Dolce and Amber, oblivious in their own grief, compounded hers with their heedless remarks. Dylas and I were the only ones who could see how much she was hurting, but Dylas, who'd never had a way with words even in the best of times, possibly made her feel worst of all.

After we found her collapsed on Venti's dais, wailing with grief, he and I took her to her room. There she had tearfully pleaded with us to leave her alone, and so we respected her wishes—though I insisted she at least have Baldur there with her. So I brought him from his enclosure to stay by his mistress's side, first popping over to my room to ask Sano and Uno to keep an unobtrusive eye on her, with instructions to notify me immediately if she had need of me at any time. When we left, she was sitting on the floor before her fireplace, her arms around her wolf, sobbing into his thick, soft fur as he whined and whimpered, licking her and nudging her shoulder with his nose. Sano and Uno sat upright in the two chairs on either side of the fireplace, their tails curled around their paws as they kept silent vigil.

The next day, Dylas and I met outside her door. She let us in, looking on the verge of collapse—as if she hadn't slept at all that night. She didn't say a word, just opened the door to let us in, then turned and stumbled slowly back to where Baldur lay curled before the fire. A quick check in with Sano confirmed that she had indeed spent a sleepless night. Dylas sighed as he looked down at her, then he knelt on the floor next to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Listen," he said in a gentle voice, "I know it hurts. I miss her, too. But we can't just keep on moping around forever, can we? You know Venti wouldn't have wanted that, especially from you. She always loved to see you smile, same as the rest of us. So cheer up, okay? Even if you can't smile a genuine smile now, just... fake it. Eventually it'll become real."

Although it wasn't terrible advice, it was poorly timed and clumsily delivered. She burst into passionate tears again, pushing his hands away as she buried her face in Baldur's fur. "Oh, just go away, Dylas—you don't get it! You don't understand at all!" she cried, her voice muffled by her wolf's fur.

He rocked back on his heels, startled, then looked up at me. I just nodded, and he rose and left. At the door, he turned back and said, "I really am sorry, Avani. We'll all miss her... but we miss your smile, too, you know." Then he left.

I went and sat on the floor next to her and just sat stroking her hair wordlessly, letting her have her cry. Once her tears finally abated, I continued stroking her hair, saying as gently as possible, "It's okay, My Lady. You've every right to cry. Take as long as you need. I know how much Venti meant to you, and how much you meant to her, as well. I think she thought more of you than anyone else in her whole life. I believe Dylas was right in that she wouldn't want you to suffer on her account... but I think she'd understand, too—and I also think she'd be glad to know that you loved her so much. Don't worry about what others think or say or do—no one can tell you what you should or shouldn't feel. Just be yourself, and do things in your own time and your own way. And remember that your friends are here for you—that I'm here for you."

She sat up, though she avoided my gaze, and nodded as she scooted a little closer and leaned her head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze, then kissed the top of her head. After a few minutes, she began to droop, and soon she was fast asleep, still leaning against me. I waited a few minutes before I carefully slipped away and stood, then I lifted her up and carried her to her bed. Setting her down gently, I pulled a blanket over her, drew her curtains, called Baldur over to lie on the floor next to her, and asked Sano and Uno to continue to keep watch over her. Then I quietly left to ask Volkanon to be sure she wasn't disturbed and to ask Vishnal and Clorica to see to her farm chores. After that, I quickly went to my rooms and picked up my translation work, then returned to her rooms to spend the day quietly reading and translating while keeping an eye on her as she slept.