The Winds of the Past [Rune Factory 4]

Chapter 44

I hadn’t had much time to ponder my own predicament, as it had taken a back seat to Avani’s crisis. But soon after the night of the party, once things had  more or less returned to normal, I found myself thinking about Avani even more than usual, and recalling my last conversation with Venti. And… thinking of Maria, which inevitably led to guilt and back to thoughts of Avani. I was trapped in a vicious circle, and I didn’t know how to escape.

Furthermore, I couldn’t help but notice that Avani had been spending less and less time with Dylas since her recovery. One day, I finally commented on it. “My Lady, hasn’t it been a while since you last spent some, ahh, ‘quality time’ with Dylas? Or have I just been rather unobservant recently?” I asked her as we sat reading one summer evening.

She blushed a little, then shrugged. “I highly doubt that you’ve ever been unobservant in your life, Leo. But yes, you’re right. When I… when I was so depressed after Venti’s… after she passed on, I pretty much stopped seeing him then. I couldn’t stand to have anyone near me during that time, except you—I felt like you were the only one who understood how I was feeling at all. And even though I knew Dylas meant well… like everyone else, he only made things worse. So I avoided him, just like I avoided everyone but you. And somehow… somehow after things got better, I realized I hadn’t really missed him all that much. So… I had a talk with him and told him that it was over between us. I felt badly, really, because I do love him. I just… I just don’t love him that way anymore. I feel like he’s only a friend now—a very good friend, but nothing more.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “I must have been unusually obtuse if I failed to notice that—I’m sure he couldn’t have hidden his feelings well. He never does.”

She sighed. “No, he didn’t take it well. He was deeply hurt. Afterwards, he just… vanished for a few days. I suspect he returned to the ruins of the old water shrine to the east, where I rescued him. When he came back to town, he had himself more or less under control, but he still looks so… wounded. But there was no use in pretending, and I’ve always tried my best to be honest with both of you. Hopefully he’ll get over me soon and move on. He’s got his faults, but he’s more like a diamond in the rough, I believe—and I think one day he’ll make someone very happy. It just won’t be me.”

I thought about that for a minute. The significance of her choosing to remain with me while breaking off her relationship with Dylas was not entirely lost on me, and I recalled Venti’s comment about what lay deep within her heart. And I must admit, I felt more than a little panicked at the idea. While she’d had two lovers, I had been able to convince myself that she wasn’t too serious about me, and that one day she would ride off into the sunset at another man’s side—leaving me alone once again. But now that she had forsaken all others besides me, everything had changed. And frankly, it scared me… because I wasn’t fit to be the guardian of anyone’s happiness.

The next morning, after my bath, I asked Lin if she’d be so kind as to pack a picnic lunch for two for me. She seemed surprised by my request, but she didn’t ask any questions as she assembled my basket. I had decided I needed to step back a little and think… and I wanted to think things through where it all started—and with whom it all started.

An hour later, I was seated on the ground before the sealed entrance to the ancient tower of Leon Karnak—or as it would be styled in the modern terminology, “Leon’s Durance”, so named as it was used to contain my Guardian form. The original tower itself was far more ancient, but it had lost all significance and identity by my time. The Earthmates, sensing that it was placed atop a wellspring of runic power, had restored it for use as my prison.

I laid out the picnic and sat facing the tower’s great door, lost in thought and memory while I ate. “Maria,” I said after some time had passed, “I don’t know if you can somehow hear me from wherever you are, but… I want to apologize for causing you so much pain so long ago. I was… selfish. I only wanted to stop you from crying and to see you smile. I didn’t think about what I was doing or saying, and that was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have tried to change you.