A Debt To Pay

63

The next week passed in a blur. Logan was out most of the time so I spent the majority of the days with my sister. Our dad's trial had officially started and I had decided to let the mafia and Logan decide my father's fate. I didn't want to get involved at all. I knew no matter the outcome, I'd always wonder if I made the right decision. I felt as though I was being forced to choose between not only, my two parents – either I choose my father's life or I avenge my mother's death – but I was also choosing between protecting my father or protecting my future family from him.

It was too much for me to deal with and I wanted nothing to do with it. Ashley and I didn't speak about the trail although I know it was on her mind as much as it was on mine. She was having a hard time coming to terms with the idea that we may soon lose him. I knew she didn't approve of that choice and Logan had told her to speak up if she wanted him to spare him but she seemed equally as torn as me.

Everything was a mess.

I loved my mother with all my heart. She was an incredible mother, a kind, loving woman who was devoted to her family. Despite the horrors of my father's lifestyle, she thought life was beautiful, that people were good. She raised us to be strong, to treat people right and appreciate everything. I was plagued with the thought of her final moments. She must've been so scared, felt so alone as the man she loved ended her life far too soon.

Ashley sat beside me, searching the tv for something to watch. Logan had already left before I woke up this morning and when I went downstairs, Ashley was eating her breakfast. The whole house felt quiet and tense when Logan was gone. Half of the soldiers had gone with him and it was clear the rest of the men were on edge, preparing for the worst always. The news of my pregnancy had spread quickly. I was carrying the heir to the mafia and my name was suddenly the topic of every conversation amongst the made men. It made me uncomfortable to have them all staring at me, watching my every move, so my sister and I had run off to the cinema room.

"Ooo, lets watch a Christmas movie," she said excitedly, finding a few options.

I rose an eyebrow. "Isn't it a bit early for Christmas?" I asked her. It was my favourite time of the year but I made a point of only celebrating through December. Any earlier and it diminished the excitement and the build up in my opinion.

"It's December fifteenth," she answered and my eyes bulged.

"What?"

I thought of how many weeks had passed since I left my home in the autumn. It had been so long and so much had changed and I'd managed to completely lose track of the time. "I can't believe it's almost Christmas," I said, my eyes dotting with tears – I'd been particularly emotional recently and was blaming it completely on pregnancy hormones. "The build up is my favourite part."

My sister sent me a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry, Mi, there's still time. Maybe we could put up the decorations today and then watch a film later?" she suggested.

I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat and forced a laugh. "I don't know why I'm getting so upset," I muttered when a tear fell. "I just... it would be nice to do something normal."

She nodded and squeezed my hand. "Call Logan and ask him where the decorations are, this place is too massive to look for them ourselves," she said with a laugh.

I nodded, squeezing her hand back before pulling my phone from my pocket. I dialled Logan's number and it took him a while to answer but when he did, I could hear the smile in his voice. "Hi darling, everything okay?"

I could feel emotion in the back of my throat from the sound of his voice alone. "Hey," I forced out, "everything's fine," I told him, although I doubted I was very convincing, "I was just wondering where you keep the Christmas decorations. Ash and I thought we'd decorate."