𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 | outerbanks²

𝟢𝟢𝟣，ALL I THINK ABOUT

CRUEL SUMMER.
001 | all I think about

THE BEACHES THAT OUTLINED THE ISLAND OF KILDARE COUNTY

━━ had easily became one of Renee's favourite places to be, either by herself or accompanied by anyone of her friends, and now Benj her dog. She found serenity and peace in the sounds of the waves colliding with the sand, the whistles of the wind that would blow her hair out of its placed position behind her ears — it gave her time to think as nobody was ever here after the tide had begun to travel towards shore.

On a rare occasion she would even speak to the ocean, well she'd speak to John B and Sarah who she hoped that somehow were listening to her pleads for them to return home safely.

Renee found herself here often, too often sometimes. It was the place JJ or the other pogues now looked for her if she wasn't at her home — Renee hadn't built up the stomach or confidence to enter the chateau again since that night, knowing that every thing she would look at would just bring back the once happy memories of John B that were now tainted at the reality that she would never see him again, a reality she was still waiting for her brain to accept.

She hadn't been home yet. She had stormed out of her therapy session at least four hours ago, walking aimlessly around the island — avoiding figure eight at all costs. If the residents of the rich side of the island didn't already despise her, her best friend being accused ( although wrongly) of murdering the sheriff and the reason their resident golden girl had died didn't help her in any sort of way.

Soon after John B and Sarah's alleged death, Renee soon found out who her people were. Teenagers that Renee had only spoken briefly to due to her friendship with the pogues offering seemingly unconditional support and the ones she had known the majority of her life glaring at her and making snide comments about both her and her friends in her presence — causing a few too many almost physical altercations.

She sat with her hands holding her head and her elbows leant against her thighs — staring into the ocean that slowly began to surround her. Her mind thinking of nothing yet everything at the same time, how tomorrow she would be back at school for the first time since summer. And just school, despite pleads for her mother to transfer her to Kildare high — she was forced back to the kook academy.

A whole six hours at a place were kooks and her were confined to with no escape — such fun!

" aha!" Renee turned her head, pulling herself out of her thoughts, soon greeted by the sight of JJ approaching her designated spot of the beach — his right hand tugging the lead of the golden retriever that was swiftly approaching Renee. her lips curved into a smile as Benji soon began to greet her — heavy pants as the sides of his open mouth curved into a gaping grin.

" knew I'd find you here!" JJ hummed,

" heya boy!" Renee began ruffling his fur, Benji soon cuddling up to the girl — his self proclaimed doggy mama.

" yeah, I swung by your house and this little guy wouldn't leave me alone." JJ soon sat down next to Renee who continued to smile at Benji as she ran her fingers through his fur " Len just thought I should bring him down with me."

Another thing had had happened in the span of the month was the unlikely alliance between Lennon Lowe and JJ Maybank — I only say the word alliance because god forbid JJ Maybank befriends a kook!

" Len huh? You guys already have cute little nicknames for one another?" Renee mocked, glancing up to JJ who was rolling his eyes " blondie, you're not going to leave me for my brother are you?"

Faking a laugh which was quite obviously fuelled by sarcasm, his arm ran over her shoulders and pulled her closer. Smooth as always.

" quickly moving on, how was your session?" Renee knew this question was bound to come up, although not as soon as it had.

" do you want the truth?" she asked, exhaling a heavy breath" or the answer that's going to get you off of my back?"

JJ's lips frowned as it was obvious by his change in facial expression what answer he wanted. Despite Renee not wanting to give it to him,

Squeezing the ridge of her nose between the pads of two fingers she exhaled heavily " so I stormed out..again."

JJ sighed, a wave of disappointment hitting him as Renee didn't yet dare to look at him — although Renee was also verbally expressing her seemingly deep rooted hatred for her moms idea of fixing her through the media of a family friend who also happened to a therapist, JJ had always hoped she would at least try to help herself.

" Ren, come on." his tone dripped with distaste, the position he had on Renee faltering as she shook her head.

" JJ, stop ok!" she mumbled, not liking the guilt he was forcing upon her

" I know I promised you guys  I would try harder but you don't understand, she just gets so under my skin."

" that's her job Ren." he sniped, she scoffed and shook her head — running her hands over her hair and nodding.

" you wouldn't understand." she murmured,  looking at him who noticed the numbness in her eyes as he huffed lightly and turned his head to kiss the side of her head.

" they are  all I think about JJ." she was quiet, fighting the tears that filled her eyes,

" the reality of never seeing them again is killing me and every time I think about it even for just a second I just spiral." referring to her therapists' words earlier, finding it the only logical way to describe her anxiety attacks without concerning her watch-dog of a boyfriend anymore.

" I just want it to be over, I just want my old life back."

" it'll get better." his words vibrated against her head of hair, " I promise."

Renee melted into his affection as she closed her eyes and took a moment before replying with her natural skepticism,

" how do you know that?" she asked, JJ didn't take the comedic approach which was almost at the forefront of his mind, just a JJ thing.

" because I know you Ren." he told her " and I know how incredibly strong you are despite all the shit you're put through and that's one of the many,
many things I love about you."

It was undeniable that Renee's lips curved into a smile at his words as she opened her eyes back up , tilting her head up to look at JJ who was already looking down at her.

"God, I'm so in love you blondie." she proclaimed, JJ smirked and soon pressed his lips against hers as he too melted into the euphoric feeling that was kissing her, the taste of her peach chapstick sending sensations on his tastebuds.

He didn't fully pull away from the kiss, instead hovering his lips on Renee's.

" ditto." he replied to Renee's previous statement as she smiled before deepening the kiss once again.

AUTHORS NOTE.

hello!! sorry this has taken me a literal lifetime to upload — started college and am already crammed with work but will be using my free sessions to get this out for you guys. Treating you early with some jj&ren content.

Side note; Renee will be struggling anxiety in this book so please if that triggers you at all please don't feel you have to read certain chapters , I will try my hardest to put warnings at the start of chapters so those uncomfortable can skip.

see you guys soon xx
- elle <3