IF (A Jottie story)

All Alone- Chapter One

A/N Hello Peeepss. As you may know if you read the description, this is my first book! I am really sorry in advance if this chapter is to long or short to your liking.Remember, friendly criticism is welcome! Ok, enough with my weirdness, lez go . (Just so you know, I am not that good at writing, so don't expect a Connie Glynn type :) )

This Chapter is dedicated to @07JulieBD 07,@ZarahRose13 &  LeDisneyWitch for inspiring me to start  writing my own book. You should really check their books out! (PS I got the idea to dedicate chapters from Julie)

TW- self harm

Lottie POV:

Ever since Jamie & Ellie left me, I have been training for at least about 8h per day, daylight or night. I guess I just thought that if I don't have them around, I would have to be extra careful about what I do and stuff. I really miss Jamie, like ALOT . I don't know what has gotten into me, like I just don't understand, WHY do I keep thinking about Jamie?! It's so strange. I guess it's that he actually let me know that he left, that he still cares. I just miss my old life, laughing and chatting with all my friends. I wonder what will happen to Jamie- would Claude brain wash him?? I lay thinking, planning  , preparing for the worst. I check the time- 1.00 am. Ugh, another sleepless night. I pop in my ear phones, and play the most fitting song-Panic Room.

Jamie POV:

I lay awake, staring at the stars. I wonder what Lottie is doing. I still have her blanket, in fact, my head is resting on it now.  I continue to stare up. The sky was turning lighter at the horizon. Wow. It's ombré from white to black, with all shades of blue in the middle. I watch as the sun slowly rises, making everything glow and look happy on its way. Just like Lottie, I thought.  Soon it was 5.00 am. I forgot we had training. I started to drift off when I heard a clicking noise right in my face. I jolt up,  not realising that Haru's hand was right in front of my face, causing Haru's hand to collide into my nose.

"Woah. Hey there buddy. CHILL." Haru said, slightly shocked.

"Sorry about that Haru. Hey, can you tell me the time, I think I may be late for traini-" I began, rubbing my eyes like a baby. Wow I need to stop doing that.

"Hate to break it to you, but you already missed it"

WHAT!? I have never EVER missed a session of training. Shoot. I say my thanks to Haru and go to the GIANT garden father has. Speaking of gardens and flowers and stuff, WHERE IS LOTTIES BLANKET?! I run over to the same spot it was at and feel relived to find that it was not stolen. What was I thinking?? Who would steal Lottie's rose smelling pink blanket? Everyone? 

I go over to the hidden garden and pop in my air-pods & start training. I miss everyone so much. I know that Lottie has her other friends, but she still would be lonely, right? WOW, JAMIE, STOP THINKING ABOUT LOTTIE AND START THINKING ABOUT ELLIE. SHE IS YOUR COLD-HEARTED MASTER. SHE MAY HAVE HURT LOTTIE, BUT SHE STILL IS YOUR MASTER. I shake it off then play some songs & start my laps.

Ellie POV :

I can't. Being a princess SUCKS. All these royal affairs and all. WHYYY MEEE?! Ok, I know that I brought this on myself, but it just SUCKS. I hear Lottie calling and messaging. I go to pick up and talk to her when-

"Princess Eleanor Prudence Wolfson, you have yet again broken a rule. How many times do I have to tell you. YOU SHALL NOT CONTACT PORTMAN CHARLOTTE EDITH PUMKIN." Sir Nicholas bellows. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SUCH A CREEP? IS HE STALKING ME? This is exactly why I hate it. Dad's partizan is a stalker.

"Sir, she is disturbing me. I am just trying to block her." I lied. 

He didn't look convinced, but let me go. I responded to Lottie- I am forbidden to respond or look at any of your messages. I must block you. Lottie, I am really sorry.

Lottie POV:

I read the message. It broke my heart. This is all because of me. I made my friends suffer. I get my pocket knife- it has small barbs on it. The tip is razor sharp. I roll down my socks. I look at the sole of my foot and slice a long shallow  line with my knife. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to. Punishment. I used to do it on my left arm, but deep and short lines. It soon filled up so I did my right arm. Then that finished. I am starting my first sole-the sole will inflict more pain. More causing your friends pain, double the amount of pain for you. That is how my brain works. I don't even put  a bandage on it, but I do put an absorbent towel under my feet, I don't need my friends to know.

This is all because of me. Everyone is all alone.

A/N- I hope that chapter wasn't too harsh. If you harm yourself, remember, you are not alone. Talk to someone like a therapist. I am always there to talk. Trust me, this works, I have been through it. (No pls don't make assumptions. I may or may not have done it or I may or may not know someone who as done it).  Anyways, I hope you have a nice life (because idk what time it is ur reading this). Hear is something to cheer you up :)