TOXIC; jra ✓

034 | haven't spoken in a while

iMESSAGE

willow
[9:23pm]

hey willow. i know we haven't spoken in
a while but i really need someone to talk
to atm and i'm not comfortable talking
about this to my friends and i don't wanna
annoy lucas so i though you could maybe
put your degree to use haha

i mean only if you want to ofc don't feel
pressure at all

hey adalyn :) it's all good. what's up?
what would you like to talk about?

so i like this guy and we've been hanging
out for like 3 months now. but im still
scared to have a relationship with him
and im scared to open up about how
carter treated me and why i don't trust
guys very much

okay..

also he has a kid and he's in like the
public eye so when i was going through
all my dms last night i had a bunch of
his fans saying i ruined their relationship
and i'm the reason he can't see his kid
more often. and how he was so much
happier before me. and how i'm using
him for followers and money. and that
i'm a bitch and don't deserve to be with
him. and its such a stupid thing to be
sad over

okay well.. it's okay to not be ready yet.
i know it might be hard to talk about it
still and that's okay. just wait until you're
comfortable. and maybe let him know
that you aren't comfortable enough
right now to talk about why you don't
want a relationship

it is not a stupid thing to be sad over.
being sad and crying is normal. it's
okay to be upset at people saying hurtful
things to you

do you believe what his fans are saying?

i mean kinda. not really the things
about me cause i know i'm not using
him i don't need his money or followers
but about his ex yeah. some sent me
photos of them and they did seem happy
and this one post of his. he seemed in
love and it hurts me to read that, and
seeing everyone say i'm the reason they
broke up

i think that's something worth talking to
him about especially if it's bothering you.
it's not worth hurting yourself just because
you like a guy. it will be better if you talk
to him and make sure he's on the same
page as you relationship wise

and i know it's probably hard to talk about
that but it's important you put yourself and
your mental health first.

mhm okay

have you spoke to him about his kid and
his situation with the child's mother
before?

yeah it was one of the first things we
spoke about

and what did he say about her?

that they broke up ages ago

so you know you didn't ruin their
relationship?

yeah..

so then why do you believe you did?

idk because he seemed happy with
her and maybe he's just lying to me

okay..

and if he was happy with her and they
were still together. do you think he
would lie and say they aren't together
to be with you? then continued to see
you

well when you put it that way no

but then again her and their daughter
live in hawaii and so how do i know
that he's not just wanting to have a
relationship here since he only goes
there like once a month

i mean yes that could be a possibility
but if they were happy and together,
do you think they would be living so
far away from each other and only see
his daughter once a month?

no..

there you go

adalyn can i ask.. do you post online
when you're sad?

no?

and when you and your ex would fight
would you share that online?

no

so yeah they may have seen happy in
the photos and posts you've seen but
that doesn't mean there wasn't problems
in their relationship. or that they were
happy 100% of the time.

okay

thank you

you're welcome. if there's anything else
you want to talk about do be afraid to
message me. i may not answer right away
but i'll for sure respond

thank you

[ ₊✧ 💋 ∘* ☁️ ⋆ 🍒 ༉˚ ]

A/N

idk how much i'll publish over the next
couple days so have a triple update today:)