Journal of Thoughts

How does one cope with loss?

Friday, September 24, 2021

That is tough topic anyone can relate to. Over the course of 15 to 16 years, I had experience my first loss with my father on Thanksgiving night and my uncle a year later in December. I can tell you, from that experience, it sucked a lot. I was depressed and played my favorite game Soul Reaver on the Playstation two console in the confines of my room, killing many vampires as the wraith Razel to dull the pain that I was feeling inside. Then, switched up and played Takken 5 on Playstation 2 to fight as long as I needed to forget my pain. On most days, I didn't have appetite for food. I tried everything to purge my pain and disappear from my heart, yet it was hard to feel joy or peace. It felt like apart of me died.

It took time but I opened that experience with others such as my brother and some coworkers and kept myself busy. Usually, talking to others and sharing what you are going through with someone you trust makes all the difference. Overtime, working through grief took time. But what help me the must was finding my purpose. Eventually, that led me to pursue school, which was a good thing for me.

I spent time working a full time job and taking liberal arts classes at a local community College part time. That was a lot. But, it was worth it for me to make something out of my life while supporting my mother and to build a better life. So, you can say, I used my loss as a motivator to pursue my goals in life. But, the take away I want to say is that your life matters and you can shape it any way you want it. Just remember one thing, your love ones live through you. As long as you remember them, they are not gone. Loss is never easy and I try focus on the good times with people close to me. Having support from family and friends makes all the difference. It is also better to live in the present. Do something you love with all your heart. That's all I got for this entry!