forever & always

break me like a promise

didn't know what to write in past so here's present again.
*present time*
Taylor's pov

i wake up again but in my bed finally. I missed my bed, my home. I sit up in bed and scroll down through notifications where i find Joe's message.

J: Hi! Wanna meet today? I have something to ask

i smiled and answered back

T: Of course! I'll meet you at 8

J: sounds good! See you:)

I lazily got up and started day.
I went to bathroom and stripped my clothes down and turned on water.
I stepped in and let warm water take over me.

My thoughts immediately wandered to joe what does he want? Hope it's not about me and Adam or did something happen?

I get out of bathroom and dress up in hoodie with cats on it and sweatpants. Not sure what to do i turn on friends and cuddle with cats for hours.

Finally clock reaches 7 i start preparing dinner.
I start making spaghetti with meatballs.

I go upstairs and put on some makeup making my hair into messy bun.
Soon doorbell rings and i run downstairs opening door and facing joe.

"hi!" he hugs me and comes inside.
"hey, how are you and Tiffany?"
"we're good how about you?"
"im fine" i smile at him.

"let's eat dinner and what did you want to talk about?"
"no i'm fine, let's just talk"
"okay" we sit down on couch as he starts talking.

"so i wanted tooo ask if you're okay to talk about yours and Adam's relationship? Maybe i could help"
"no of course not!"
"but-"
"no joe it was my private relationship and i don't wanna talk about it"
"but i can help"
"no joe no!"
"oh of course no! U have always been like that! You think you can handle everything! like you did huh, now i know why everyone leaves you! You're just full of problems! These eating disorders and panic attacks you always put yourself in danger and don't think about other people! you really deserved everything they put you through you can't even control yourself can you? You push everyone aside who tries to help you that's why you have always been alone! Im so tired of you!" he screamed at me as I sat there speechless.

I started shaking and felt bubbling in my chest as my breathing become labored and my vision just became blurry with tears. I sat there trying to focus on breathing which was impossible because my mind was just spiraling trying to process everything.

"oh here we go again! I can't deal with this im leaving" he shouted angrily and slammed door in front of me.

I curled up in a ball wrapping my arms around me to comfort myself somehow.

I wasn't angry, i was disappointed and upset. I couldn't believe what he just said.

I got up and tried to go in my room.

Okay you got this. Deep breaths. One step, two steps, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
No i can't do this

My legs shake as i try to take another step with my blurry vision which is not possible so i just collapse on stairs and continue crying where i pass out along.

[hours later]

I open eyes and look around confused when everything comes back to me.

I sigh and stand up turning back to couch and checking phone where i see 5 missed calls from tree.

God what happened now?

Apparently it's 12am but I decide to call back and to my surprise she answers immediately.