forever & always

all too well

I hate this book pls help
Joe's pov
Present timeeee

it's been a while now and taylor's a lot better now. no more nonsense and everyday breakdowns just nightmares. all besides that, i can feel i'm falling hard for her again and she doesn't even notice which breaks my heart. 

we also hangout a lot like we did 'till we started dating but this is a lot different, no cuddles or hugs and friendly kisses just a loong couch-talks. it really doesn't seem like she likes me but i'll give it a shot.

i walk on silent, wet streets with my head down lost in thoughts. before realizing i'm already at taylor's house. i knock on the door and soon i'm greeted with blonde woman in cat pajamas, blue sparkling eyes staring in mine.

"hey tay!"
"oh hi joe! come in!"

i step in house and hang my coat, following taylor to living room. i sit down in front of a fireplace next to taylor and take a deep breath. god this is gonna be hard.

"so how you doin'?" she asks
"i'm good, how about you?
"um i'm fine, is everything okay?" she asked with a worried look after noticing my anxiousness. 
"yeah everything's good i- do you want to watch something?"   
she gave me a confused look but nodded anyways so i turned on friends and remained quiet whole time, not knowing i love her after everything.

"joe are you sure everything's okay? you seem nervous.
"i said i'm fine!" i yelled out of nowehere and i could see hurt in her eyes. god i ruined everything.
"i'm sorry i just- i- i have something to tell you.
"okay? im listening" she gave me a weird look.                                                                                  

i took a deep breath and spilled out everything i had in my mind.
"i love you okay? i missed you so much taylor. i know i'm late but i still love you. i missed you, us, our cuddles, kisses, hugs or even cooking, painting together. i know we can't be together but i have this feeling since forever and i just couldn't keep it anymore." i finished my "speech" and looked up to taylor who sat there shocked, with teary eyes.

"joe i- i loved you, i really loved you but there clearly was something i couldn't give you unlikely tiffany. i just- i'm not ready for this. for us. i'm sorry but i have no feelings for you anymore and i don't see you with me in future. i'm sorry." she finished with breaking down.                                          without any words i stood up and stormed out of house, tears silently streaming down my face. i saw this coming but didn't think it would hurt this much.

i just keep and keep going nowhere, i can go anywhere i want, just not home. not home which is destroyed and crumbled down right now. not home with taylor, cuddled up on couch in front of fireplace, staring and sinking in each others eyes. everything is black and white right now fulled with pain. i stare at orange colored leaves falling down like pieces into place and fasten my walking, going through memories i made with taylor.

her words echoed in my head as i kept going when sudden pain crashed at me and fully broke me. 

I couldn't take it anymore, i collapsed on the ground and closed my eyes hoping some miracle could take all of pain away. I kept crying 'till i got exhausted and i fell asleep there, alone.

Taylor's pov
I break down sudden when i see joe storm out of house and slam door hardly. I don't know what happened everything was spinning right now.

"i ruined everything i ruined everything i ruined everything" i kept repeating while pacing back and forth trying to stop shaking. I knew what was coming and i tried to focus on one thing but nothing was working. Everything was spinning and my vision was blurry by tears so i just gave up and leaned on wall for balance. I couldn't breath and i was crying uncontrollably. I wish i could take everything back but it was too late. I already did a lot of damage.

Without realizing i could feel my legs weaken and i fell on the floor where everything went black.

Joe's pov
I wake up with a terrible headache and wetness on my clothes. I look around and see it's already dark, no ones out. I check the clock 4am- god it's been a long time.

I get up slowly and start walking to my apartment, where i get in like twenty minutes.
I immediately remove my clothes and try to get comfy on couch under blankets still exhausted from everything. I can feel myself dozing of sleep and soon I close my eyes for the second time and everything goes black.

It was short but uh- anyways stream red(taylor's version) or bad luck for 13 years💗

btw guess what this is 13th chapter of book😁

Ty for readiing have a good day/night - sofie🤍