Perfect Strangers (Sebastian Vettel)

64: A Best Friend's Advice

"He couldn't even come and collect them himself?  Does he hate me that much?" Lucie said to Joel three days later.  Joel rolled his eyes.  He'd arrived to pick up Freddie and Sofia to spend the night and following day with Seb at Joel's place.

"You two need your heads banging together. Now put the kettle on woman!"

Lucie scowled and stomped into the kitchen. Joel followed her and sat down at the table.

"Where's Freds?"

"He's upstairs. He's trying to find his Honey Ryder, he won't be long. Sofia is already in her car seat. She was fed about an hour ago. I've expressed enough milk for the next 24 hours or so. If he needs any more he'll have to come and get some."

"Lucie,sit down a minute."

"I thought you wanted tea."

"Sit!" he snapped. It was about time she heard a few home truths.

Lucie sat. She glared at Joel.

"I was going to stay out of this and let you two sort it out yourselves, but I can't bear to see you throw away the best thing that ever happened to you."

"I'm not the one throwing it away. I just don't want to get married. He's the one that's thrown a wobbler and walked away. He knows where I am. He knows I want to talk. He's the one who's refusing to see me."

"You really don't have a clue do you? I've had a few chats with him. It's not because you won't marry him."

"Then why?"

"He's convinced you don't love him like you loved Callum. He thinks you won't marry him because you have never gotten over Callum."

"What?" Lucie exclaimed in shock. "I'm always telling him I love him. Of course I bloody love him. I love him more than anything."

"I know Lucie. I believe you. It's Seb that needs convincing."

"But how can I when he won't talk to me?"

"Lucie.  Look be honest. Why don't you want to marry him? This is me you're talking to. I'm not going to judge you."

Lucie picked up a pen that was laying on the table. She began tapping it in a rhythm, her nerves getting the better of her.

"I'm scared ok. I'm totally petrified. Look what happened when I married Callum. I couldn't survive losing Seb. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and I'm fucking scared. And I feel guilty. Callum's dead and I feel like I'd be betraying him if I got married again. I wouldn't have his name anymore."

"Lucie, you know I love you but sometimes you can be so fucking dumb. Callum would want you to be happy. He'd be telling you to go for it. You've got a second chance at a family. Don't throw it away. It doesn't take anything away from how you felt about Callum. But don't let Seb go. You'll spend the rest of your life regretting it if you do. "

"I've messed up, haven't I?"

"You both have. He's being stubborn. He needs to listen to you. He's convinced that you're still in love with Callum."

"But why? I'm always telling him that I love him."

"When you had your fall Seb said you were calling out for Callum. I think it's been playing on his mind ever since. He feels insecure. This is just my opinion. I think your refusal to marry him has convinced him you don't love him. At least not as much as Callum."

"Jesus, this is such a mess. What do I do Joel?"

"Only you know that Lucie. I'm just here to support you in whatever you decide."

Lucie put her face in her hands. She began to cry.

"Lucie, come on. Listen to your heart. What does it tell you."

"That I love him. I can't lose him. That I made a mistake that I don't know how to fix because he won't talk to me."

"So don't give him the option to refuse."

"What do you mean?"

"I have an idea."

***

Seb was sat watching an old episode of Little Britain when he heard Joel pull up on the drive. He jumped up and opened the front door. Freddie got out of the car and ran over, jumping into Seb's arms.

"Daddy!" Seb lifted him off of his feet and held him tight.

"Freddie. I've missed you little man."

He carried him indoors whilst Joel got Sofia's carseat out of the back.

Once inside Seb put Freddie down and undid Sofia's straps, picked her up and cradled her in his arms.  He felt a sense of loss when he thought about Lucie not being there. 

Was this how it was going to be from now on?  Having the kids when he got a week off?  Because even if this was it for him and Lucie he intended on being a major part of Sofia's life, and Freddie's too if Lucie let him. 

Sofia gazed up at him with her big blue eyes.  She looked so much like Lucie.  His heart ached for his Lucie.  Sofia's lips curled up and smiled at him. 

"She smiled!"

"I told you she did at Silverstone " Joel said from behind him. 

Sofia made a gurgling sound, the cutest sound ever.   Seb's heart swelled with love for his baby girl.  He walked to the sofa and sat down, talking in German to her.

"Lucie's not doing so well. She tried putting on a brave face but she looks tired.  She misses you."

Seb stayed silent.  He felt so bad about refusing to talk to her but he knew I f he saw her he'd cave in and accept any crumbs she threw his way.  He deserved more than that.  He wanted a proper family.  He thought he'd found that with Lucie. Obviously he'd been wrong.

Joel could see that Seb was still being a stubborn fool. 

"I'll have the kids in the morning if you want.  So you can still go for your walk."

Seb had been going to the beach every morning at sunrise, back to the very spot he and Lucie had first met. 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm always awake early."

"Thanks Joel. You've been a good friend."

Joel grinned and walked out into the kitchen.  Seb might not be saying that after tomorrow. 

If he wouldn't go and see Lucie, Lucie was going to see him. 

                                    ***

Lucie lay in bed thinking about how to approach Seb the next day.  Joel had told her that Seb went to the beach to watch sunrise every morning.  She was going to find him there.  And then she was going to tell him just how much she loved him, how she'd never even loved Callum as much as she loved him, and hope and pray that it wasn't too little too late.