"you're very pretty i wish to devour your mouth bacteria" was a very common phrase for ryan. ryan was a tall, blonde, LORD HAVE MERCY I JUST FARTED SND MY WHOLE BACK STARTED HIRTING GOOD LORD THAT HURT
ok sorry back to the story
ryan was a tall, blonde, blue-eyed football player. he had no girls. he was sad. he was a very flirt dude, but this isn't a y/n story.
so after he got out of school he went home snd his mom was standing on his bed with his report card snd she was like "RYAN CUMBERPATCH WHAT IS THIS" and he was like "MOMMMMMMMMM I FAILEDDDDDDDD" and she was like "TJIS IS WHY YOUR DAD LEFT" and she jumped off the bed snd snapped her neck, so ryan ran off into the woods and this pig came up to him and was like "aye man wassup" and he kissed the pig snd they fell in love.
BEENBEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
his alarm rang.
it was 8:00 am.
he was still with the pig, that wasn't a dream. his mother is dead now and the fbi is looking for him- which is why he is in a forest with a pig. at around 1 pm he got really hungry, so he ate teh pig.
he then ran into a cave and this wold came up to him and was like "rawr XD!!"
"awww it's so cute" ryan said as he picked up the wolf. "RAWR XP" said the wolf as ED SHEETAN RIPPED OFF HIS FURSUIT AND ATE RYAN ALIVE
the end.
