Alive If

Chapter 14

We step out of the classroom, the door clicking shut behind us. I let out a shaky breath, trying to shake off the way Hickey's smug grin burned itself into my skull. Kai must notice because he leans in and whispers, "Fie," snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I blink and realize I'm staring—again—at Dr. Basio and Richard, who are deep in conversation near the front of the hall. I sit back quickly. God knows how long I've been zoning out.

"You okay?" Kai asks, his voice low with concern. "You seem... bothered by that guy. Also, I heard you skipped class yesterday."

He looks absolutely wrecked—lifeless and drained—but he's still worried about me. That stirs something sharp in my chest. Come to think of it, he wasn't in Ms. Diaz's class either.

"I'm fine," I lie. I shift in my seat, hoping he buys it. "Just thought I recognized him from somewhere. By the way, what time did you get here yesterday?"

I need him distracted. I'm still processing everything that's happened—the memory of Santhy, the warning—and I'm not ready for questions.

"I didn't," Kai says, almost proudly.

I gape at him, waiting for an explanation.

"I got laid off from work," he admits, scratching his neck. "Spent the whole day job-hunting. I can't find anything flexible enough. I don't want to, but... I might have to choose between studying or working soon."

He shrugs it off like it's no big deal, but the tightness in his eyes betrays him. I can't imagine how heavy that decision must feel.

"I'm sure there's something out there. I promise I'll help you find it," I say, patting his back gently. Maybe I can ask Rick again about that part-time opening in the canteen... kill two birds with one stone—help Kai and actually have a real conversation with my mom's boyfriend for once.

"I appreciate it," Kai says, flashing me a soft smile that nearly melts me into my chair.

Before I can say anything else, he smirks. "I assume you didn't take the Calculus quiz either, huh?"

"There's a quiz?" I screech—loudly enough that everyone turns to stare at me. A few people snicker.

I immediately want to melt through the floor.

Again—fuck.

"Ms. Vila!" Dr. Basio snaps. "I don't tolerate that kind of language in my classroom."

Hickey, of course, is trying—and failing—not to laugh, hiding his grin behind his fist.

I feel Kai tense beside me, about to stand up for me, but I grab his sleeve and whisper, "Don't." He's got enough to deal with.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I... have no excuse," I mumble, standing up like a scolded child. My heart is pounding like crazy. Hickey says something to his mom, but I can't hear him over the roar of my humiliation.

Dr. Basio studies me for a long moment, then sighs. "Alright. I'll let it slide this time. I hope it doesn't happen again."

I sit down, cheeks burning.

Richard shoots me a playful grin, leaning lazily against the board. It's infuriating. Distracting. Dangerous.

Then, to make it worse, he strides right toward us. Out of all the empty seats, he picks the one right next to me. Of course.

God, I can't trust any of them.

I can't even trust Kai fully, not until I know for sure...

I need to be more cautious if I want to live.