Alive If

Chapter 24

"Hey, I'm sorry for missing out yesterday." I come face to face with Kai in front of our classroom. Last night, I told Chuck everything and he vowed to keep it a secret. He advised me to be honest with myself and not feel bad about it. I'm completely following this plan and I'm going to lie my way out of Kai's heart to protect us both from hurting each other even more.

"I want to be honest with you. I don't want anything bad to go in between us when I say this but... I only see you as a friend." The pressure in my chest dissipates but a short sharp pain replaces it as I see his head bows down in disappointment.

"Are you okay?" I ask. What kind of question is that Sofie? Of course, he is not okay. Look at him, he's like a puppy getting returned to the pound. Why the hell are you comparing him to a dog again?!

"Yeah, I'm great. Let's go inside before Professor Basio arrives." He makes his way inside, leaving me at the door.

"Sofie!" I recognize Hickey's voice behind me. I turn around to greet him.

"Listen, my mom can't make it to class today because of a meeting so she can't meet you guys. She did however give you a long-ass activity sheet to answer." He smiles showing 2 pieces of paper taped together at the center which appears to show 2 problems but each item is 50 points.

"I think I'm about to cry," I say, tearing up at how I'm definitely going to flunk this.

"Relax, I got you. But I do have to dismiss your class first." Richard enters the room and the girls' squeal but then it becomes silent as he starts to speak. I love how eloquent he is and his confidence is outstanding. My classmates got up from their seats and began going out the door. Kai stops in front of Hickey, looking him dead in the eye.

"If I ever see you mistreat her in any way, I swear to God, man I will make you wish that you were never born. Do not test me, Richard." Kai threatens Hickey.

"If it's just you and me buddy, believe me, I would have given you or anyone every chance to prevent my existence but it's too late now. I like Sofie and I'll never do anything that will cause her harm. She's the only person that can make me feel alive with no conditions." Hickey glances at me. Kai exits without saying another word, he may have also forgotten that I was still there.

"What a nice guy." Richard meets me at the door. Boy, I hope choosing this guy was the right decision.

"Come on, let's work on that activity of yours." He put his arm on my shoulders, leading me to a café outside the school. He orders us coffees and immediately makes me do the work needed to be done.

"I don't want to hit a sensitive nerve but what's going on between you and Charlie?" I ask as ink in my answers on my worksheet. I'm not expecting him to answer but I'm genuinely curious about why there is tension between them.

"It's a long and complicated story, Fie." He says.

"I'm all ears," I reply.

"You don't understand. You'll hate me once this story is over. Knowing this secret is a burden and a responsibility" He says, shaking a bit which is different from his usual self. He sounds more nervous. He takes gulps of his tall and dark drink.

"I don't see a problem with that." I smile and my answer relaxes him a bit. I don't know if I should be doubling down on this.

"Okay, it started when my mom met my dad. My dad was giving out scholarships for the scientific endeavors of his wife's company. My mom was one of those scholars."

"Hold the phone, there was a wife?! And your mom wasn't it?" I said as a mental note in my head.

"The first time they saw each other they felt a strong connection like they were meant to be together as cringe as that sounds. Soon, the wife discovered my dad's secret relationship and threatened to kill herself and leave him out of her will. My dad was nothing before he met her and was afraid to go broke so he didn't end things. He left my mom pregnant with enough money to get an abortion overseas." He grips the tablecloth like he is about to rip it off.

"I'm so sorry, Richard." I reach for his hand, but he pulls away.

"But obviously she didn't go through with it. She had me and didn't tell him. Then one day, he saw me with mom at the mall. I was five and was just starting my career. He was surprised to see that I still exist." He continues, drinking up until his glass was empty.

"Then his wife found out about it and tried to kill me."

"What?!" I fall back in my seat.

"Got you! Half of that wasn't true." he burst out laughing.

"Dick, be straight with me."

"That's what she said." He says. His face meets the swinging inner part of my hand and he smiles.

"Fine. From this point on, only facts will be coming out of my mouth... So my mom was a scholar, and dad gave her every incentive possible including but not limited to his magic stick. Uh-uh, let me finish-" he pauses seeing me trying my best to hold my giggles. Once I calmed down, he continues.

"He bought her a house and helped raised me 4 times a week. They kept the relationship a secret for as long as they can until my 10th birthday which was the first time I brought a friend over. He was my first decent friend that was aware of my fame but didn't use it. The sad thing is that when he entered the house, he froze. At first, I thought that it was his first time seeing two people kiss each other, I mean I kissed him one time and it was probably a trauma response but then he said "Uncle Thomas" so I knew that something was up."

"Was that friend of yours Charlie?" I ask he responds with a who-else?-look. Wait, did he just say that he kissed him? I'm putting a pin on that for now.

"Turns out he is related to my dad's wife and he lectured me about the wrongness of my family's existence and he didn't want to be part of it. My dad heard all of it, that night he packed his stuff and never came back. As for Charlie, he never talked to me again but I know him enough to know that he won't tell a soul."

"So when was the last time you talked to your dad?" I ask.

"It was my last mall show before retiring my character in Kulit. I saw him in the crowd with his real family. I called out to him, forgetting that I had a microphone strapped on. He looked at me disgusted as if he was the one being humiliated in front of an audience. You know what, you should ask Chuck what happened that day, he would know because he was there. Also, I would understand if you don't want anything to do with me now." Richard explains.

"What? No. I would never do that to you. Hold on," My head hurts from this overload of information and it also might be from drinking my ices drink too fast.

"Just please swear to your deathbed that you won't tell anyone. This would ruin everything I've been trying to accomplish, like making my dad regret the day he parked his car in a different garage." He says stretching his arms to both ends of his side of the seat.

"I swear over my dead body that I would never tell anyone." I agree to keep this a secret until I learn more. I take a sip of my cold coffee, thinking if the future me did really take this to her grave.

"You know what, I love you for that." He says, making me spit my drink back into the cup. How did he say that without even thinking twice? I'm not even sure if he is playing or being serious.

"I'm glad you're happy about it," I said, coughing like I reached the end of a box of cigarettes.

"Believe me, I'm ecstatic. Oh, and you have foam on your lips. Don't move." He grabs a tissue and moves next to me. He gently pats the foam off, letting his finger linger a bit on my bottom lip. He drops the tissue and places his hand on my face. We slowly lean forward in unison and as his lips meet mine, I felt something explode inside of me. It's probably my ovaries but it's like all the butterflies in my body were set free to dance.

"We should stop. Anyway, I should get back before my next class." I pull away from him. It hit me; it wasn't butterflies that I feel but moths and they are eating away the fabric of my reality. Kissing isn't as magical as I thought. The magic dies as fast as it was granted. The smell of liquor radiates from Hickey and I feel sick as I realize how heavily intoxicated he is and how I wasted the first memory of my romantic life by starting it out with the coffee breath.