Alive If

I Want To Know You

"I ended up kicking his balls. It was an act of  perfect revenge." I finish up my encounter story with Hickey von Tramp to Kai.

"I don't really hear these kinds of rants a lot but that's the best how-I-ended-his-bloodline story that I have ever heard." Kai claps slowly and leans on the railings of the wooden balcony. The both of us are sitting on the floor, staring at the street below.

"Thanks for listening to me. I really needed it today." I glance at Kai letting out a soft smile.

"It's no trouble, actually I also needed the break." His smile slowly drops. I stare at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm exhausted from my job, university, and my family." He sighs out loud.

"My dad isn't really present in most of my life. Mom couldn't raise me on her own so she gave me up to her relatives until I was 15. Both of my parents remarried and they tried taking me in but none of their spouses wanted anything to do with me. I ran away and have been on my own ever since." His eyes appear empty as if he had told this story so many times.

"They didn't look for you after that?" I ask with concern.

"They did but not for the reason that I was hoping. When they found out that I was working, they kept bugging me for money." He explains, his tone is more desolate than before.

"You worked hard for your money. You shouldn't be obligated to give back to them. You don't owe them anything." I plead.

"I know but my mom needs the money for her medication and my dad needs it to feed my little brother since he can't keep a job. I thought I could run away from it but I'm pretty much stuck." He buries his face in his hands. I don't know how to help him but I try to comfort him by tapping his back.

"I'm not a bad person and I don't want to be, I'm just so tired of all this." He lifts his head up from his hands and faces me. Tears start building upon his waterline.

"I can only imagine what you have been through. You're a very strong person, Kai and I'm honored that you are comfortable enough to tell your story to me." I remove my hand.

"Thank you, Fie." We decided to stay up until we see the sun.

...

We were supposed to have a National Service training program at school but the professor said that she'll start next week so we are free to do whatever we want today. The first thing Kai and I did was refill our coffee mugs.

"You know, it's a nice day to get out of the house. I would kill to go to the park---" Kai stops when he sees me looking at him weirdly.

"Did I say something wrong?" Kai worriedly scratches the back of his head.

"Kai, you shouldn't use that word around me." That is what I would have said if I wasn't so sleep-deprived.

"No, you didn't. I just thought I heard that before, somewhere. It's a good idea." I can't rule out Kai being the killer even if he seems to not be able to hurt a fly. He might develop his killer instincts in the next few years, I just have to make sure that he will never get a motive.

"I can't come with you guys though, I need to get going before I'm late for work. I don't want to wake up Santhy so could you say goodbye to her for me?" He smiles as he sees me agree. I guess not sleeping is the solution to memories loss.

"See you in class tomorrow," I shout as I see him below from the balcony. I wave at him as I hold the hot coffee mug in my other hand. I wonder if this day could be the chance to get to know my daughter very well. I do live in a city so there are so many places to visit with her. I should make an itinerary. I could show her the places I have dreamed about going with my mom.