Alive If

When My Mom Met You

"So what's your name? And how old are you dear? Does your mom know that you're here?" My mom interrogates the little girl while the three of us are sitting at the table. I was sweating nervously but I couldn't do anything but stuff my face with perfectly cooked fried rice.

"My name is Chrysanthemum and I am 9 and a half." She drinks some water before continuing.

"My mom was supposed to pick me up from school but I wanted to ride a jeepney home like my other classmates, I ended up getting lost." She drinks more water.

"Have you contacted your parents?" My mom asks.

"Yeah. Fie helped me, but they are both in Japan right now and they probably won't get back until after their business trips." The kid could not get enough of her water.

"Japan? What kind of parents would go abroad when they know that their child is missing? And how can they trust a bunch of strangers to take care of their child." She slams her hand lightly on the table for a dramatic effect. It's been a while since I saw my mom get this upset. Now, I need to drink some water.

"Sofie isn't a stranger to our family. She babysits me sometimes when my parents are away and she feels like my 2nd mother. My parents trust her a lot and we don't have any other family here in the city so they told me to get a hold of her and they oriented her on what to do." She explains calmly. They both look at me at the same time when I am about to place the spoon full of rice in my mouth.

"So she's going to stay here for a while." I devour the rice to prevent myself from digging my own grave further.

"Umm, okay?" My mom utters in confusion.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" She scares me.

"Your real name is Chrysanthemum, right? Like the flower? Why did they name you that?" I try to change the topic to lighten the mood.

"Yeah. But my dad calls me Santhy. My uncle said my parents named me that because my dad loves taking care of flowers and the name means mum's flower. They are both scientists." She chuckles but her eyes tell a different story.

"Honey, forgive me but I got distracted by how you resembled my daughter when she was your age---" My mom suddenly stops when she sees the water bursting like a geyser out of my mouth. She shakes her head in disbelief and looks at Santhy.

"You are welcome to stay as long as you like but I need to speak to your parents as soon as they get back, okay?" She pats Santhy's head as she replies with a nod. I sigh in relief.

"And you, these are the things you tell your mom first before doing it, not after. But I'll let it slide this time." She raises her eyebrow again then heads to her room after the meal. Since my mom isn't home a lot she offers her bed to Santhy.

"They are going to get an earful when I meet them." My mom is so angry at Santhy's parents for leaving the kid behind. I smile uncomfortably, thinking if I should tell her what's going on but I can't afford to give her any more things to worry about right now. She already has a lot on her plate.

After cleaning up, my mom announces that she'll be gone for another few days to do a few extra errands at work. While my mom is preparing her stuff, I call Santhy into my room so we could get things straight. I have been bombarded by questions in my head that want some answers. I believe her now but I'm not sure if I can trust her.

"Santhy explain to me why you are here?" I look her in the eyes to make her sense how serious I am. She looks like she is collecting all the courage she can muster up.

"In your first year of college, you have met... or rather will meet people that will change you." She inhales deeply then releases.

"Among them are 3 people who are involved in your life up to your very last day." She clenches her fists and looks like she is uncomfortable. I feel like I should make her stop but my curiosity is prevailing over me. After all, she's talking about my death.

"The people who are surely present in your future and my future would be able to see me. I can interact with them but because I'm not from this reality, they end up forgetting who I am when they go to sleep. Within those 3 people is your killer, mom." She moves closer to me. I don't know what to feel.

"Can you tell me who they are?" I ask because I think it would be easier if she just tells me who they are so I can avoid them and not die.

"You know the future right? Just tell me the 5 w's and 1 h already." I drop to my knees and look at her straight so she can level with me.

"I don't know what your killer looks like, mom. I'm sorry. I was in the room when you got killed but I was too young to understand what was going on. I am not sure but I feel that if I tell you everything, it would alter my chances of existence as well." She drops to her knees too.

"I don't want to live in reality without you mom, that's why I'm doing this. Promise me you'll be careful and not die this time." She puts her hands on my face.

"I promise." I try talking as she continues to squish my face with her hands like I'm made out of clay. She lets go and helps me stand up. She then leaves the room to take the comforter from my bed to my mom's room. I am entranced by fear to the point that I forgot to inquire about her dad's identity. I go out of the room too, seeing mom fishing her car keys and standing beside the door.

"Sofie, honey. Don't throw a party without me, okay?" Mom says, waiting for me to nod as she opens the door.

"I would never." I gasp, chuckling a bit because I seriously can't imagine having a party without her. She is the life of the party. I can't even replicate the snacks she makes to a tee. She laughs and I kiss her on the cheek before saying goodbye. Then, I walk over to mom's room and I knock on the door, opening it slightly.

"Santhy, you still up?" I fiddled with my shirt.

"What?" She replies with a muffled voice because her head's under a pillow.

"So, who's your dad?" I ask. I could hear her tired sigh, I forgot she was sick the other night.

"I can't tell you, Fie. You should figure it out for yourself." She whispers back and yawns. She quickly dozes off so I gently close the door behind me.

I shriek internally as I imagine using my daughter to not only find my killer but also to find the identity of my future husband. I jump for joy because I always thought that I would end up being a spinster. I was already planning on collecting feline companionship.

"Could he be one of the 3 people? He could see his daughter, right?" I think out loud.

I need to start re-evaluating my life. I know Santhy can be seen by me, my mom, and the 3. The person who kills me is one of the people who can see my daughter and one could also be her dad. Or maybe he isn't involved in her life that's why he won't see her? Will I go to a sperm bank in the future? Do I even meet my husband this year or just my murderer? Is it weird that I'm thinking about my love life more than my impending doom? But if I dwell in it, would it change my destiny? Why isn't she giving me enough hints? I'm not even friendly, so how will I encounter a lot of people? The killer could be anyone at this point if I pull out a friendly stunt.

I sit up from my bed and let my thoughts out to think of a master plan. I don't know the identity of the three so the first agenda is to know who they are and why they would kill me. I need to do something I have never done before. Something BOLD and DARING.