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You bit your lip as you studied yourself in the mirror. The new kimono was almost feeling like silk against your body, as the small lotus flowers were drizzled down on the light pink canvas of the dress. You never dolled up, only for special occasions.. Just like it was now.. The yearly spring festival. You had been looking forward to go.. Until for about a few days ago that is.
Struggling with insecurities was nothing new, neither was chasing after a crush you have had since childhood in silence.. But the closer to the festival the worse it had gotten. All the feelings, anxity and insecurities made your head spin at this point. With a soft sigh you sat down on the bed and thought for a bit, trying to calm the nerves. You had to get the crush on the most broken man in Konoha.. The one that never seen to be intrested in anyone, unless you were a book that was. Deep down you knew he would never look at you like you looked at him.. You had been friendzoned hard, from the very start.. And not because he even wanted too, no that was because of your bestfriend.. Hadn't it been for Gui, kakashi most likely wouldn't even had been a friend of yours. It was like you were a package deal because of their silly rivalry.
With a push you got up from the bed, deciding to leave early and spend some time alone at the festival. You needed to figure everything out, and what to do next. One last glance in the mirror and a quick fix with the hair, you left the appartment and started to walk thowards the town. You could see all the happy cupples and familys walking togheter hand in hand, ready for another amazing festival. The smell of the different sweets and foods become stronger the closer you got to the festival eria. Maybe you should just settle for something less complicated.. A civillian perhaps? Your mind suddenly started to go thowards Gui.
He had always been such a sweetheart. People would never belive it, but under that energic persona he was the most caring person ever. He even helped you bying the kimono you wore today, with alot of peptalk offcourse. Gui always seemed happy to lighten your mood, letting you hear the words you needed when you needed it the most. Maybe you should settle for someone like him? Someone who you had a chance with.. You frowned a bit as you walked, snapping yourself out of the thought before you started to crush at your best friend too.. Like the crush thing from you had not made things hard enough as it was.
You spotted your favourite stand from last year and carefully walked over. Looking over the menu you got a slight smile on your face as you saw the tea you loved still being there. "One spring lotus tea please" You spoke softly to the elder woman behind the stand and payed happily. Lotus, eveeything was lotus.. Making you think back at Gui.. He always called you his little lotus, ever since the academy. The woman carefully handed you the tea and you thanked her politely as you always did. Too soft you remember Kakashi had said, at least after he learned you were a jonin too.
You shaked your head a bit as you held onto your tea and conntinued to walk throught town, taking it all in and trying to distract you as much as you could. You don't know how long you walked, or even payed attention to where.. But you stopped as you noticed you had walked to the river outside the festival eria. If you even couldn't enjoy yourself alone at your favourite festival, how could you even be around people today without destroying their mood. "Little lotus! Wait up!!" Your body disobeyed as you turned around, still holding onto the tea you had bought. When Gui finally stopped in front of you, he was almost out of breath.
