Random (one) shots

Lando Norris x Lewis Hamilton

TRIGGER WARING! Suicide thoughts and ,entioning of suicide

Lando POV:

It was supposed to be his win.

His first win.

His Weekend.

But he fucked it up.

He had made the wrong decision and fucked it all up.

Had he just listened to his mechanic he would've won the race.

Now he didn't even end up on the podium and was very likely to even get a penalty for crossing the line before entering the pits and get a race ban for Turkey.

He didn't understand why the team wasn't mad at him, didn't understand how they could be disappointed for him and not in him.

Lando just couldn't understand how anyone was willing to still support him after this disaster of a race.

After he had been so stubborn and stupid. Too blinded by the idea of his first win to see staying out was the wrong decision.

Going to congratulate Lewis was probably the hardest thing he ever had to do.

The hug and reassuring words that everything would be okay not giving him any comfort in that moment.

The one person who was always able to give him comfort, not even Lewis was able to reassure Lando.

His phone laid untouched on top of his desk in his drivers room, the team had delayed the debrief for the following day so Lando only had to suffer through the media.

Not breaking down in tears on live-TV really was his only mission when going through his interviews.

He felt so worthless. So fucking stupid and useless. He couldn't understand why McLaren still want him to be their driver.

He couldn't understand why Max still wanted to be his best friend trying to reassure Lando on the phone, after he had to call Jon to even reach him.

Lando broke down in tears as soon as he had heard Max' voice. The conversation with his parents was even worse, Lando sobing uncontrollably and going straight into a panic attack without even talking about his race.

Jon had to take the phone out of his hands, pulling Lando close to his chest to try to get him to breathe normally again.

Lando didn't want to see what people were writing and telling about him on social media. He never wanted to leave his driver room ever again, yet at the same time he wanted to run until he would break down and not get up again.

He wasn't sure if he was ready to go to his hotelroom tonight, knowing that Lewis would be there telling him how proud he was and how amazing Lando had been doing.

Lando couldn't understand how Lewis still wanted to be his boyfriend. He was insecure about their relationship anyway. The two of them had been getting closer over the season and finally started dating in summer, but Lando never understood how he was enough for Lewis.

He knew the other loved him, but right now he couldn't believe that Lewis still did.

He was a failure, a no one, couldn't even win a race that had so clearly been dominated by him.

Everyone always said he was a great driver in the rain, yet he always fucked up, Spa and now Russia, he couldn't do it anymore.

Sometimes Lando wished he would've never gone professional in racing.

But really what else was he supposed to do. He wasn't good in anything else. Lewis however played the piano, played the guitar, he even sang, he won 7 worldchampionships and now a hundret races.