Chapter 31: We Are Possessed by Demonic Lemon Muffins

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It had been fifteen minutes of pure agony and you were no closer to finding out where you were than before. The strength potion had worn off and neither you nor Dream had another, so you'd been forced to just push through it and hopefully not run into a tree.

Although the forest was a muddy, misty, miserable swamp, it got even worse because it started raining. Don't get it wrong, you loved rain. Just... not when you had a broken set of ribs, a gaping wound, and you were lost in a forest with a psychopathic murderer who you had a mutual hatred of.

You stumbled over a root and caught yourself on a tree, wincing. "Yeah, I'm going to need a break," you said, leaning against the tree and breathing heavily. Dream shook his head, obviously annoyed, but you glared at him. "Hey, how about I break your ribs and cut you in the side too, so you can stop complaining about me taking so long. It's not exactly easy or fun to go trudging around with you, even when I'm fully healed."

You leaned your head back when you heard a noise. Judging by the way Dream jerked his head around, he heard it too. You slowly tried to unsheathe your sword without bumping anything or making noise, but before you could, Tubbo-in-a-Suit came running out of the mist, nearly bumping into you.

"Oh! Shadow! Dream! Uh, hey!" he said, jumping back. "What are you doing out here?" He noticed your chest wound and winced. "That looks bad."

"Tommy attacked me. We're lost. Where's L'manburg." You said flatly, grabbing one of his strength potions off of his pack.

"Uh- that's my- Whatever. F*ck you. Manburg's that way," he said, middle-fingering you and pointing behind him at the same time.

"Thank you. ...What are you doing out here again?"

Tubbo looked nervous, but maybe that was just your imagination. "Schlatt just had this big announcement and you weren't there, so he asked me to go find you. I also thought I'd hunt for, uh, Tommy and Wilbur at the same time. So, yeah, um. Bye-" he started to run away, but Dream grabbed onto his sleeve and jerked him back.

"You said, 'Manburg'. What exactly is happening at L'manburg, huh Tubbo?" Dream asked quietly. Tubbo smiled weakly, twisting out of his grip.

"Y'all can go find out. Bye!" You opened your mouth to yell at him, but Tubbo-In-A-Suit disappeared into the mist.

"That was helpful."

->->->->O<-<-<-<-

Add another twenty minutes later, you and le murderer arrived back at L'manburg. The walls were still in their half-torn-down state, and Fundy was standing on top of one of the remains, throwing bricks down. You waved at him, but he just nodded tiredly and went back to work.

Niki was standing off to the side with someone you didn't recognize: a nine-foot-tall demon with jet black skin and hair with white eyes and a red and black cloak. When they saw you, Niki's eyes widened and she ran over.

"Where were you? You've been gone for- what, seven hours? What happened?" Dream had vanished into thin air, so you reluctantly shuffled after Niki, who waved the demon-man over and started walking towards her house. "Shadow, this is Badboyhalo, but we call him Bad or BBH. He hates swearing."

You weakly grinned at Bad, who smiled back.

"F*ck you, b*tch," you said suddenly, making his eyes widen

"LANGUAGE!" He yelled, smacking you on the shoulder. You winced but laughed.

"See, we're just reenacting what happened the first time I came to L'manburg. Tommy was going to swear, then Tubbo screamed 'language' at him as a joke. It's a ritual for new people, I guess." Niki smiled, then opened the door to her home. Bad had to awkwardly crouch to fit through but took a seat on one of the chairs and made himself at home. You slowly sat on the couch and Niki grabbed a box of medical supplies from a cabinet.

"So, explain what happened, already!" Niki said cheerily, pulling out a wad of gauze and some alcohol wipes. You winced as the alcohol stung the wound.

"Fine, pushy. We were in the forest and Tommy attacked me. I hit several trees, then fell off a cliff into a ravine where Wilbur double-teamed me. I managed to escape and found Dream, we got lost for half an hour, and now I am here, talking to you and this demon-looking b*tch over here," you said, hooking a thumb at BBH. Bad gently smacked your shoulder.

There was a loud ding from the kitchen, and Niki stood up quickly. "Oh, that's the muffins. I'm trying to continue baking," she explained, exiting into the other room. Around a minute later, she came back with a plate of steaming muffins. Bad 'ooh'ed and grabbed one, and you did the same, but nearly dropped it. Being fresh from the oven, they were burning like hot coals and you had no idea how Bad could physically hold one.

After you ate and Niki finished patching you up, Bad left and Niki went quiet.

"Hey, Shadow?" She asked hesitantly. You looked up from your book. "I- I don't know if you feel the same, but I don't like Schlatt and this 'new government'."

You sighed and closed your book. "Niki, I'm starting to feel the same way. The only problem is that I was practically Schlatt's running mate. If I step away, not only does it make me look like a traitor and Schlatt a terrible president, but Schlatt's also a long-term friend of mine, and I value that friendship immensely. I've not had many friends in my life."

Niki shook her head. "You keep talking about him being your friend and all that, but have you ever considered what Schlatt would do in your position? From what I can see, he'd say, 'screw you' and walk out. I don't think he has the same loyalty. Maybe you should just publicly denounce him and live with the consequences. I've been talking with some... other people, and they agree with me."

"Niki, I've already had this conversation with Wilbur today, don't make me have it again."

"Wilbur? When did you pause in the middle of your fight to have a sociable conversation with Wilbur?"

"It wasn't during the battle! It was afterwards! It's a really long story that I don't want to tell so please just accept the knowledge and move on. Point is, Wilbur and Tommy tried to get me to abandon Schlatt and help Pogtopia, but I refused to kill Schlatt, so then he tried to get me to be a spy, but I wouldn't, but I ended up agreeing to partially help him."

"Pogt- wait, can you take me back to where they are?"

"Probably? Maybe? Not sure. It was really foggy so... Besides, I still don't know what's happening here. Tubbo mentioned a 'Manburg'? Schlatt made some sort of speech? Come on, Niki, tell me!"

Niki sighed loudly just as someone knocked on the door.

"Niki? You there? Don't say no, I can hear you."

After handing you another muffin, she walked over to the door and swung it open.

"Heyo, Ponk. Got my lemons?" Niki asked the tall mask-wearing man outside.

Ponk nodded and handed her a basket, poking his head inside. "Oh! You're Shadow, right?" You nodded, and he walked over and shook your hand, smiling. "I'm Ponk. Niki asked me to bring some lemons over for some scones she's making, and I agreed, so long as I get one." He shot a pointed look at Niki, who giggled and threw a lemon at him. Ponk caught it deftly and pocketed it. "That's mine now, AND NO REFUNDS."

Manburg seemed to be a magnet for the strange. First it was a demon, now it was a lemon-selling man in a wrestling mask.

What's next, a walking diamond block?


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1334 words

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I had no enthusiasm to write this chapter. :/


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