Long Live

Epilogue

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  ― H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You

     The class sat there, looking at me. I couldn’t tell you what their expressions were, because I honestly didn’t know. I awkwardly made my way back to my desk, and my teacher dismissed the class. As I was packing up my things to head home, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Xana standing there.

     “Hey,” she said.

     “Hey,” I replied, zipping up my back pack.

      “That was a really good paper,” her voice was filled with sincerity.

     “Thanks,” I said, throwing my backpack over my shoulder, hoping this would tell her I wanted to leave.

     “I’m sorry about Crispin,” she continued, “I’m also sorry for the way I treated you. I didn’t really think anything of it.”

     “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” I said, “there are people you’ve actually hurt that deserve it more than I do.”

     “Oh,” was all she said.

     “See ya,” I said making my way past her and down the halls.

     Xana had changed over the summer. Her long black hair was now trimmed just above her shoulders, and she dressed in clothes that weren’t as revealing. She was still on the cheer team and she still acted like she had before, but she had changed. If you knew Xana as well as I had you’d see she was lonely and had no one to count on. I almost felt bad for her, but then I’d remember the people she’d hurt.

     As I made my way out into the parking-lot I could already see Dylan leaning against his car, waiting for me. He was dressed in khaki shorts and a blue polo. His hair was standing up making it look like he had just woken up, which he probably had. He only went to school to sleep during most of his classes. He claimed that he slept better hearing the sound of his teachers bedtime-story voices.

       “Here she is,” he said, opening his arms. I walked into his arms and gave him a hug, “how’d your speech go?”

      “It went pretty good, I think,” I said, pulling back and giving him a quick peck on the lips, “how’d your try-out go?”

       “Oh, you know,” he said, walking over to the passenger side of the car and opening the door for me.

     I quickly got in and buckled up, “Did you make the team?”

     “I might have,” he said, closing the door and walking back around the driver’s side and starting the car.

      “Seriously, tell me!” I said, lightly punching his arm.

     “I made the team,” he said, a smile playing at his lips.

     I squealed and threw my arms around his neck. Dylan had decided to try out for the hockey team, even though the season didn’t begin for months he had talked to the coach and tried out for the opening they had on the team. It would take him longer than the others to be conditioned for the season since he hadn’t played for almost two years.

      “Yep, I think we should think up a really cool name for me. Like a nick name, something I can go by when playing hockey,” he said pulling out of the parking-lot.

     “How about ‘The Loaf?’” I suggested.

      “I was going for something more like ‘The Destroyer’…” he trailed off.

     “Sounds a little too scary.”

     “Yours sounds a little too… not scary.”

      “Whatever,” I laughed, “are you coming over for dinner tonight?”

      “What’s your mom making?”

      “Wow, that’s classy,” I sniffed.

      “I’m kidding,” he laughed, “yeah I’m coming. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

      My mom and I were now as close as we had ever been, possibly even closer. Instead of going out to parties like I used to with Xana on the weekends, I now stayed at home and did small things like baking cookies with my mom or having a movie day. Cindy would sometimes join us.

     Cindy and my mom became quick friends. Surprisingly they had a lot more in common than I would have ever thought. They would go out to lunch together and shopping, exchange recipes.  They did almost everything together.

     My mom seemed a lot happier lately. She had cut back on her hours at work and was spending more time with my dad, who was happy to see her. They would sit on the couch together holding hands, and would have long conversations, long after I had left the dinner table. I could hear them laughing from my bedroom. It was good to see them happy again.

     Dylan and I… I think you know how that ended up. We would go out almost every afternoon with Chewbacca and Luke to the dog park and watch them play. It had taken us awhile to get used to not having Crispin there with us, but we’ve found our niche.  I don’t think we will ever be the same since there is no Crispin, but we were happy. Being just friends wasn’t in the cards for us.

     A few days after getting back from England, Dylan and I had both went out and bought a necklace, with a heart pendant on it. On the back we had scripted “Adventure is Everywhere”. We wanted to do something that would make never forget our adventures with Crispin, even though it was unlikely that we ever would.

     My life had never been better, in a way. I was with the people I loved and I was happy with myself. I didn’t wake up every morning worrying about not being able to put up the act of being likable to the people who didn’t even count. I honestly didn’t even care what people thought about me anymore. As long as I was happy that was all that mattered.

     I think Crispin would be happy to see how everything turned out. I think he already knew ahead of time that things were going to turn out like this. Everything I had known my entire life had been changed because of him. And I don’t have a complaint about it.