not nothing

4

JUNE 12TH 
-night-

Usually, drinking didn't appeal to me. I didn't want to lose control over my body. But that night, I just wanted to get rid of the distracting thoughts I had the last couple of days. They were irrelevant anyway. Who cares, if he called me a slut, he was wrong either way, and who cares he was attractive when he was so ugly on the inside.

Already slightly tipsy, I was on my way to the bar to pour myself another drink, that didn't taste good. I didn't know a lot about alcohol. I just read vodka on the label and assumed it was good since everyone was drinking it. I threw my head in my neck and let the burning liquid run down my throat. I originally came here with AJ. Maybe I should go and find him. I took another cup and made my way through the crowd, trying to find my best friend. I decided chances would be high he was in the living room dancing with some girls, at least that's what he always did.

"AJ?", I exclaimed, as I tried to push my way through the tight crowd. Eventually, probably due to the alcohol, I gave up on my attempt to get through. I just relaxed and let myself get carried away by the moving people around me. Some of them I recognized from school, some even tried to talk to me, but I couldn't hear them anyway. I felt free, as soon as I realized nobody cared what I did at that moment and nobody expected something from either. It was a nice feeling, one I wasn't very used to, but one I fairly enjoyed. Maybe I should go to more parties if they made me feel this way. I don't know how long I was dancing until I felt the presence of some guy behind me. I didn't necessarily care, I just hoped he didn't want more. I noticed a familiar smell coming from his direction, so I turned around to face the mysterious boy and smiled as I saw the lit stick of marijuana between his lips. The still unknown guy grinned as he saw my look and held it out to me. I took it gratefully and kissed his cheek. "Thank you", I grinned back at him and decided to continue my search for AJ before the stranger decided to take back his joint. I made my way outside, where they played beer pong, constantly dragging on the drug between my lips. I was more used to the drug than the alcohol, but the combination was making me want to throw up and kiss the next best person in sight at the same time. The good feeling was stronger than the bad, so I decided it couldn't be too bad and simply continued. At the beer pong tables, I did find a familiar face, but definitely not the one I was looking for. My drunk and high self wasn't quick enough to comprehend the consequences that could follow from my little sister seeing me like this. As I did try to turn around and flee from her, she had already caught me in the act of taking another drag from the drug.

"What in the world do you think you're doing?", She demanded to know with a stern voice, as she tried to take the poisonous stick away from me.

"Hey, chill out beauty queen, I do this all the time", I tried to calm her down as I held the joint up so she couldn't reach it. She looked at me as if I just shot at her.

"You want me to chill out, what the fuck is wrong with you? You've never smoked weed before, you don't even like parties or alcohol", she got louder. Great, another time to shine as people were starting to stare at the scene happening in the backyard.

"My dear sister, my dear little sister, you are too young to even be here, so don't tell me I can't drink and do whatever the hell I want", I gestured wildly, trying to prove my point.

"Mom and Dad will not be happy about this, and you know this. What do you think will happen if I tell them?"

"You wouldn't", I exclaimed loudly.

"What do you suggest I should do? Should I just turn around and let you take even more drugs? You know exactly how dangero-" "How dangerous it is? You think drinking at sixteen is much better than one joint?" One joint was a little bit of an understatement, but she wouldn't have to know about the rest.