Shattered Hearts ◇ L. Laufeyson

11 ◇ nightmare

Avengers Compound - Upstate New York

Loki ◇

DEFEAT IS NOT something unknown to me.

Of course, I'd always seen all my failures as tragedies, as every lapse in success only burned the fire in my eager heart hotter.

Up until this moment now, I realize I had never truly experienced such tragic ache as the void I feel in the present.

Y/N Stark was the one destined for me; I was sure of it.  Within the stars our beautiful story was written, yet this ending was not at all supposed to come so soon.  It felt like a nightmare, one of pain and loneliness and longing that didn't have any ending in sight.

I suppose I feel like that, because I feel as if the end already came.  Now, I simply... existed.  I had no urge to rule any place, not anymore, now that she would not be by my side.  It felt incomplete.  Empty.  Hollow.

The Avengers, unlike me, were not used to being on the losing side.  This failure was new to them.  While they had never experienced such, they did have the same reaction I had.  I could only assume, based on their silence, their pale faces and lightless eyes, that they too felt the indescribable weight on their damaged souls.

Everyone lost someone.  Y/N was close to each of them, I knew her disappearance was weighing heavily on them all, not just me.  Not to mention the others who didn't return from that battlefield; Sam Wilson, the metal-armed man, the Maximoff girl, and the Vision.  They, as many others, were erased from this universe.

Thor and I didn't share any words.  No one said anything at all, for the most part.  It was just a heavy silence,  a mournful feeling in the air that sucked any remaining life from us.

Us.

It was odd, being on the same side.  Though now we shared a common enemy, and also shared in the loss of our loved ones.  We lost this battle together.

Any hope of winning a future fight, we needed to do together too.  That wasn't my ideology, though I was smart enough to know if I wanted to avenge Y/N's death, I would need help.  That, and I knew she always craved acceptance from the rest of her team - she wanted us all to have peace.

Romanoff was the one to fly us back to New York, where the Avengers had a new compound built in the middle of a lush forest field.  I was exhausted, of course, from the battle, but mostly focused on the fact that Y/N was gone.  Truly? 

Was she truly stolen away from me so quickly?  Without even a single goodbye?

The others disembarked slowly, like slinking snails as they dragged their feet.  I did the same.  There was no more motivation to put any pep in our steps.

Rogers was the one to hold the door open for all of us, even me.  Though he didn't meet my eyes, I accepted his gesture without a word and followed my brother inside.

It was a common Midgardian living space, dimly lit but still recognizable as a Stark-Potts design.  It reminded me of the Tower, where I first crossed paths with Y/N months ago.

It felt like a lifetime before.

"What... now?" Banner's voice was extremely soft, the scientist picking at his shirt's hem nervously.