𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 ✔

Chapter Two

Most of the ride back to our manor, that was just outside of the city in the countryside, was silent. Mother had been staring out of the window anxiously, since we had left. Which, foolishly I might add, had given me hope that she had forgotten about having been angry with me.

That was, until mother turned to glare at me, almost immediately, as if she had heard my thoughts.

"Do not think I have forgotten about the embarrassing predicament you forced me into back at the boutique, Emma." She arched her brows at me in displeasure, "How dare you leave the house looking so disheveled and unkempt, as if I never buy you clothes and force you to wear the same things over and over."

I wanted to reply with, 'why that is exactly what had happened mother,' but, like usual, I decided against it and began to grovel instead. "I apologize, My Lady. I had no intentions of making a fool out of you, sincerely. I had not noticed-"

"You speak to me as if I care about your pathetic excuses." She growled as she looked back out the window. She could only stand to look at me for so long before she would always turn away. "I will allow you to get away with it this time because something I actually care about requires my attention. I simply do not have the time to punish you accordingly. However, such negligence will not be tolerated a second time."

"Yes, of course, My Lady." I had grown used to apologizing for things that I shouldn't have had to apologize for. And, where once her words would have upset me, I only felt exhausted instead.

I wanted to be able to call her mother at least once out loud, despite her not even being deserving of the title. I wished that I could have a relationship with her and father that was not full of hate. And, sadly enough, after everything up until then, I still loved my family. I wanted them to love me back, and to finally include me in the family that I had been forced to stand back and watch. Adorning me with the lonely title of outsider.

But I knew that, despite all my hoping and yearning, the day I dreamed of would have never come and had accepted it long ago.

And even though I loved them, even though I longed to belong. I hated them. I hated that I hated them. I did not want to be full of hate like they had been, but no matter how badly I tried to suppress that emotion, it always resurfaced. It always reared its ugly head, and I would think vile things about them, about what I wanted to happen to them.

Yet, I would feel terrible, I would punish myself for it. I spent many nights crying because of how horribly I treated them in my mind. A courtesy they should have never been afforded, especially when they had never once shown remorse for how they openly treated me. And like always, I was the only one suffering.

Once we had arrived at the manor, mother instantly shoved open the door to the carriage. A loud thump followed, as it had collided with the unsuspecting coachman who had been on his way to open it for us, knocking him to the ground.

As she emerged from the carriage, mother glanced down at him for a moment, the look in her eyes was enough to kill as she spat, "Stupid fool, next time stay out of my way." The poor man continued to look down at the gravel, not daring to meet her glaring eyes. She pushed his foot out of her way, then shouted, "I do not have the time to deal with these theatrics, get out of my way!"

The man scrambled to remove himself from her path, fear written all over his face. She then gathered up the bottom of her dress and quickly made her way up the steps and disappeared inside the manor without a second thought.

I allowed Adela to go first, not that she would have let me go in front of her anyway. Before I had followed her inside after I helped up, then apologized to the man mother had knocked down. I felt so sorry for him, especially after noticing the fresh cut on his forearm soaking his white shirt.