All that stands between mankind and absolute chaos is Henry Rider.
We're doomed.
Life isn't easy for Henrietta "Henry" Rider. Born into the lowest class of klaon society, collecting enough laughter to keep her alive is a daily struggle. The only ups...
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Chapter One
The wind carried the alluring scent of danger the night I appeared above 1157 Westwillow Drive, holding the mystical Escher Cube in both hands. My heart raced with the power of five Blue Donkey energy drinks. I was ready to...
Wait. Above the house?
I yelped, plummeting to the roof below with a magnificent bellyflop. Not my most professional entrance, I'll admit, but at least I'd only warped myself a few feet too...aaaand I was sliding down the roof. I shot over the side like a screaming toboggan before bouncing off the plastic trash can below and crash landing on the driveway.
Ow.
A moment later, the trash can tipped over to spill a very confused raccoon out on the driveway in front of me. It saw me lying face down on the pavement and hissed, warning me away from its precious garbage...until it saw what I had in my hand. Made of polished gray stone, the Escher Cube reflected the moonlight in a way that made the raccoon's eyes widen greedily.
"What are you looking at?" I demanded, my head still spinning from the fall. Then it dawned on me. "No, no, don't even think about it, you little—"
Too slow. It snatched the Cube out of my hand and took off into the woods across the street.
"Chicken biscuits!" I cursed, giving chase. McGus was going to skin me alive if I didn't get it back. The raccoon clambered up a nearby tree, but the weight of the Cube slowed it down. I dove for it...
And missed, doing my best impression of a woodpecker instead.
Feeling like I'd just cracked my skull to make a particularly painful omelet, I stumbled to my feet to see the stupid raccoon looking smugly down at me. Then it raised the Escher Cube, admiring its prize in the moonlight — and vanished in a flash of light.
"Ohhh, Kentucky fried egg rolls," I whispered. I was going to be lucky if McGus stopped at skinning me now.
Thoughts of my impending doom were interrupted by a scream of terror from the house behind me. I spun, cursing, and sprinted back the way I'd come. With one hand, I drew my ping pong paddle from where it hung on my belt. A flick of my wrist elongated the handle until it was as tall as I was, and the paddle poomph-ed outwards to become a great big wooden hammer.
Her name is Splatsy.
I swung her, smashing the front door to splinters, and charged inside — where I immediately tripped on something. I hit the floor, rolled, and sprang back to my feet with Splatsy raised, ready to smash anything that thought it could take me out while I was on the ground. Nothing happened.
It was pitch black in here, the dim moonlight shining through the doorway all I had to see by. With it, I could faintly make out whatever I'd tripped on. Cautiously, I reached for the switch and turned the lights on.
