My Saviour

candles

i sit in my car. still. lifeless.

Katy Perry- the one that got away playing on the radio.

even the universe knows how i'm feeling.

"But in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were
The one that got away
The one that got away"

tears stream down my face.

we weren't even together, so why am i crying.

i seriously need to get my shit together.

i did leave that bar, i left him standing there, silent. I did have to pull over a few streets around the corner, to have a moment to compose myself.

'you're not worth it, you'll never be worth it'

"stop. stop it. stop. stop." i mumble over and over again, resting my head on the wheel.

it takes me a a few minutes for me to fully calm down.

i look back up, my vision starting to clear up. Taking a breath i lean back and rest my head looking up.

it just gets worse.

rolling my window down, i let the cool air hit my face. slowly i lean up and open the visor.

my eyes were puffy, my lips swollen and bleeding, my nose red, scratch marks on my neck. Well there goes my makeup.

i sniffle and lean back on my seat, still looking at my self. i rub the mascara that ran down my cheek, reapplying it, and redoing my eye liner.

got to at least look pretty while i'm crying.

I huff as i close the visor and start my car up. i need to get out my anger on something or more like someone.

___________________________

Parking my car i go straight to the back door of the underground, walking straight down the corridor to the changing room.

there were a  few girls, some changing, some practicing and others on their phones all geared up, wearing sports bras and shorts, here I was with my heels and corset on.

i quickly drop my supple bag on the bench in front of me and go to open my duffle bag,
I had some key necessities in here, a spare change of clothing, gym wear, a mouth guard I hardly use, toiletries and such. I'm such a prepared girly.

I quickly take my jacket if and hang it up, I go to take my corset off as the door opens, one of the managers walks in, I glance up, it's the pedo one.

Just my luck. I turn around as I grab my corset off, tossing it on the bench, I then fish through my bad as I hear him talking to one of the fighters, probably telling her that it was her turn soon.

I turn around again and take my heels off, slightly kicking them to the side for now. Once I click off my bra I feel the pressure of someone behind me.

I roll my eyes, "hey..." his raspy voice pipes up, he was clearly busy eyeing my up.

I toss my bra to the side and grab my sports bra, "yeah?" I speak as I fiddle with it, seeing which side was the front.

"Good to see you back Hayley, it's been a while since Ive seen you in this room," His smirk was evident in his voice.

I roll my eyes again as I finally get the sports bra on and turn to face him, "yeah it's been 3 months."