Janie

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I looked at my phone again, after lying face flat on my floor for the past 10 minutes. Somehow, I had ended up on the floor in the middle of the night. I checked the time from the alarm clock lying on my bed. The glowing green numbers told me it was 3:30 A.M. The hard wood crushed my nose, as the unfinished floor roughly rubbed against my face. My bed's blanket was hovering right next to my face, and I brought my arm which was squished underneath my body, and yanked on it. The blanket fell on top of me, and turned my cheek and sank into exhaustion, again.

I woke up again, and this time, sunlight, not darkness, was pouring into the room. The window was open, like usual, so I could hear the sounds of traffic from the streets. I closed my eyes, and rested my head back on the floor. I had a couple of hours before I had to meet Janie.

I knew that I shouldn't go, but I couldn't let this grief of losing Mary incapacitate me. It was better just to replace it, distract it. I didn't know why I was feeling so... hurt... after all, I was the one who cheated on her. But somehow, it felt like she had betrayed me. Like she was the one who was at fault for all this pain I was feeling. I guess I just wanted somebody to blame.

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I had first met Janie at a hot summer day, that I was spending, getting drunk at a bar. I didn't know why, but this week had been so bad, I just needed to unwind and truly become the hot mess I was.

Mary was gone for the weekend, she had this art gallery that wanted to display one of her pieces. She was hesitant leaving, especially with me like this, but I pushed her to leave.

Emma was also gone for the weekend. She texted me something about her dad coming home... whatever that meant.

I quickly drank my third shot, puckering my lips at the sour taste. I reached into my pocket and brought out a wad of money, and slammed it on the table.

The flickering lights made it hard to navigate through the grinding bodies. I felt someone's arm wrap around me, and I shook it off. I couldn't cheat on two girls. That's what I was thinking when I felt her hot breath by my ear.

"Oh come on, a guy like you should be on the dance floor...come with me?" she whispered in my ear, trying to seduce me. I started to shake my head, as she grabbed my head, and started talking to me so close, her lips were brushing mine. I couldn't smell any alcohol in her breath, so she knew exactly what she was doing. I, however, did not. So as she leaned in to kiss me, I couldn't bring my limp arms up to stop her.

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I opened the door to the staircase and stared at the bright red 6 plastered on the grayish green wall. I held the cold metal rail, and slowly walked down the stairs, taking one foot at a time. Soon the 6 was a 4. I looked at it hesitantly, my hand hovering over the silver doorknob.

In a moment of idiocy, I swung the door open and in front of me was the pale pink hallway leading to Mary's apartment. And I couldn't stop my feet from leading me to her familiar doorway.

I stared at the faded white door, and shook my head. I have to get over her, I thought to myself. I turned around, and started to head back to the door, when I heard the door swing open. I stopped in the middle of the hallway, and heard her footsteps behind me. She hadn't noticed me yet. Maybe I should just run for it, I thought. I shook my head, diminishing that thought. I was going to have to confront her one day. But this just seemed a little stalkerish.

I turned just as she, rummaging through her purse, collided with me, knocking both of us to the ground. I groaned, as she widened her eyes once she noticed it was me. She quickly got up, off of me. Then she glared at me.

I sighed, as I got up off of the wood floor, watching her cautiously, like a dormant volcano about to explode.

"What the hell? Can't you just leave my life?" she said angrily. She walked past me, but as she did, I felt her heel dig into my toe. I winced in pain, but didn't say anything as she walked away.

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