The Heart's Desire

Chapter 3: Shards

TW: SELF HARM. PLEASE DONT READ IF THIS UPSETS YOU ⚠️

It was now Tuesday, the weather was gloomy, a little bit like Gavin at that very moment, he wasn't his normal self that day, he didn't even have the energy to be snarky and mean. Even Tina was suspicious, she knows her friend well enough to know that he isn't okay.

"You okay, Gav?" She tilted her head, looking over at her distressed friend.

"Huh? Oh..um yeah, I'm fine" he forced a smile, lying.

"Okay..if you say so" she shrugs, drinking her coffee.
~
Connor had gone to get Hank some coffee, like the good son that he is, when he got to the break room, he tried to ignore the fact that Gavin was sitting in there. Gavin didn't say anything, he just watched as Connor brewed the coffee.

"Hey Connor!" Tina waves, smiling as usual.

"Hello, Tina" Connor smiles back, picking up the cup of coffee.

"Hello Connor" Gavin suddenly says, he almost choked when he realised he said hello.

"Oh..um, hello Detective Reed" Connor says, awkwardly, looking down at the floor.

Silence filled the room, they all exchanged embarrassed glances, until Connor slowly walked out of the room, making his way back to Hank.

"The weirdest thing just happened Dad!" He passes the coffee to Hank, sitting down on the desk.

"Oh yeah? Tell me" Hank took a small sip "oh and thanks for the coffee, Son" he smiled, then wiping the liquid from his lips.

"Gavin just said Hello to me, he didn't even insult me!" Connor was excited and shocked, it was such an abnormal thing.

"Oh my, that's odd and weird.. eeuuughh~ Gavin being nice? Is the world ending or something?" Hank chuckles, as did Connor "speak of the devil..why is he walking over to us?" Hank nods his head, indicating that Gavin is behind Connor.

"Detective Reed? What do y-" Connor was cut off.

"Come with me, please" he sounded desperate, there was this certain look in eyes that had captured Connor's attention.

Connor didn't say anything, he just took a deep breath and followed Gavin. Gavin led Connor to the male bathrooms, opening the door and pushing Connor in there, Gavin then locked the door and leaned against the wall.

"why are we here?" Connor looked around the room, confused.

"I need help Connor..and I decided to speak to you, because I guess Android's can't really let me down like humans do" he was on the verge of tears, his hands grew hot and clammy, his heart beating slightly faster.

"I see. Is there something bothering you?" Connor knitted his eyebrows together, crossing his arms.

"I..i just- I need h-help" tears flooded down his face, Connor caught him as he almost collapsed to the floor "i c-cant do this anymore..I'm struggling badly, p-please help.." he choked on his words.

"Woah.. Gavin? Hey, tell me everything" Connor placed his hands on Gavin's shoulders, keeping him stable.

"I-i had a breakdown last night, nothing too unusual, I get them a lot, but I did something last night..something I haven't done in a long time"

⚠️FLASHBACK (SELF HARM TW)⚠️

Gavin rummaged through his draw of junk, looking for the small razor that he kept in there. After a few minutes of looking through his clutter, he spotted the razor. He grabbed it, with shaky trembling hands, he looked at it with teary eyes. 'I deserve this' he thought to himself, placing the cold metal object against his arm. Putting pressure onto it, he watched as the blade slide across his skin, leaving a bloody-red mark. He whimpered in pain, but kept going, 'you deserve it, you deserve it, you deserve it' he repeated to himself. His arm was sliced into pieces, the sight of it was disgusting. Gavin went to the kitchen to grab his medical box, which held some bandages, he wrapped them around his arm, then covering himself with the sleeve of his hoodie.

⚠️FLASHBACK OVER⚠️

"What is it, Gavin?" Connor looked worried, as he watched Gavin reveal the bloody bandages.

"I hurt myself Connor.. I don't know what to do with myself" He pulled his sleeve back down, wiping the tears from his face.

"I'm glad you opened up to me, Gavin. I don't know exactly how to help, but I am here for you. We aren't on the best of terms, but I assure you that this will stay between us and if you need to talk to me again, I'm here" those words warmed Gavin's heart, it's been a while since someone has cared, aside from Tina.

"I don't deserve this, I've been such an asshole to you, why are you helping me?" Gavin put his face in his hands, hiding the tears that fell down his cheeks.

"Everyone deserve a second chance, even you. I think you're so angry all the time, because you're in pain  you're in pain and you keep it hidden, so you take it out on everyone else. I guess you go for me, because I'm an Android, right?" All these things were true, Connor was actually helpful, Gavin thought.

"Yes. I'm sorry, you're right, I'm mean to you, because I thought you didn't feel anything, but I was wrong" Gavin was starting to feel a little better, talking about his feelings had helped a little.

"Gavin, I think you are so brave for telling me all this, you know. Maybe we could even become friends?" Connor suggested, his eyes lighting up.

"Connor, not to hurt your feelings or anything, but I can't be seen with an Android! People know me for hating them.. what the hell are they gonna think when I suddenly change my tune?" this in fact did hurt Connor's feelings, he lowered his eyebrows slightly, his LED flashing yellow.

"I understand.." he looked down at his feet, frowning a little.

"I guess..I guess we could hang out after work, therefore people wouldn't suspect anything" Gavin sighed, he felt a little bad for Connor, but his selfishness cared far more about his reputation.

"That would be nice, but what will I tell Hank?" Connor looks up, swallowing deeply.

"Tell him um.. okay, you can tell Hank the truth, BUT, if he tells anyone, he is dead!" Gavin points his finger at Connor's face, scowling at me.

"Understood. How are you feeling now, Gavin?" Connor asked.

Gavin stood in shock, these words made him blink back tears, they made his lip quiver ever so slightly.

"Gavin? Hello?" Connor waved his hand in front of his face.

"I'm sorry.. just nobody ever asks that. It feels nice to have someone who cares.." Gavin closed his eyes, letting a tear trickle down his pale cheek "I'm better, actually. Thank you Connor, you know what? I'll reconsider the uh the whole 'friend' thing" he smiled a smile that was not fake, he smiled a smile that came from his heart, he smiled a smile that made Connor happy.

"I'm glad you're better, I'm always here to help" as Connor said that, Gavin wrapped his arms around the Android, squeezing his eyes shut.

Connor stood there, awkwardly, looking down at the smaller man.

"Now's the part where you hug back, dumbass" Gavin joked, looking up at Connor.

Connor wrapped his arms around Gavin, feeling the warmth that radiated off of his body. After a few seconds, they pulled away, Gavin placed one hand on Connor's shoulder and said

"Thank you, Connor"