Honeyed Cabernet | H. Bartinelli ✔

[36]

"You're like a glass shard, Helena, whoever holds you bleeds."

Jason had spoken those words to her years ago when she had called him to end their relationship. And right then as she sat on the couch, waiting for Alex and contemplating what she had to say to him, those words came back to her with full force.

There was a time she had been so sure that she had fallen in love with Alex and even though she knew she loved him, she felt like she was being selfish with him.

She had recently met up with Red Robin who had been investigating the case of the shadowy creature who had attacked her. And according to Red Robin, that creature was spying on all the vigilantes and was targeting them as evident from what had happened with Helena.

Unlike the Bat vigilantes, she wasn't really secretive about her identity so almost all of Gotham knew Helena and Huntress were one and the same. Hence, it was natural for her to get worried that the spy would come after people she was close to.

So far the person she had been closest to lately was none other than Alex.

Alexander Beaumont who deserved all the good in the world and she could not let him get endangered due to herself. Right then, she was cursing herself for not being able to see that earlier.

In fact, she knew she had considered that but advice from Selina and Jason, two of her closest friends, had encouraged her to give her and Al's relationship a chance.

But right then she knew that relationship would cause a lot of danger to Alex and she didn't want him to get hurt further on her account.

Another obstacle that stood in between them was Helena's lack of trust in him. She knew he loved her sincerely and would never hurt her but she had been through betrayal so many times that she couldn't help but prevent herself from trusting anyone else ever again.

She only trusted herself. And even though she had wanted to trust Alex and to fully let him in, she had found herself unable to do so. Deep down she had always been terrified of being betrayed by him too and that fear had kept her at bay.

The fact that she knew she loved him but couldn't trust him was another reason for her to stop being selfish with him. He gave too much and too selflessly, she didn't want to take away everything and leave him a hollow vessel.

She had o step back herself in order to stop that from happening. 

The doorbell rang, shaking her out of her thoughts. She took in a deep breath to compose herself then went to answer the door.

Alex was standing outside, his features breaking into a smile to see her.

That soft smile which she so adored sent a painful stab through her heart, reminding her that what she was going to do would make that smile disappear.

"Hey, I came soon as the rush hour ended," he spoke up, his arms gently wrapping around her waist and though she didn't pull away just yet, she felt the weight on her heart increase.

Deep down, a part of her screamed at her to abandon that decision and forget about it. But she closed her eyes, ignoring those pleas.

His lips touched hers gently in a kiss and she braced herself, realizing it might be the last time she would get to taste those sweet lips. A part of her believed that it was for the best but she was still in conflict, unable to let go of him that easily.

"Helena, is everything okay?" He asked as he broke off the kiss when she didn't respond, noticing that she looked troubled.

"Sit down," she made him sit down on the couch, her hands entwining through his, "and listen to me very carefully. Please."