Of Tinted Future on Taunted Past

2020, Claudius Valentine

2020, Claudius Valentine

My name's probably the most dork of all and is probably the reason why girls don't date me nor dare to kiss me on kissing booth at Valentine's even paying twice of its price. Funny how people can be so shallow of things dig deeper than who can they ever be. But, man, who am I kidding? My name was obviously the only good thing about me. The rests are the things I despise the most.

I hate that I'm taller than any average Grade 12 students and don't even know how to hold a ball of any ball games thereon, even suck at chess and gg, I must say.

I hate that my skin are soft and my lashes are too long, I'm like drunk all the time that's probably why I go to detention more than I go to PE class.

And now, I hate that I'm alone for, Helen, the grandma that somehow showed kindnes died of tuberculosis alone in a stone cold basement just because it's contagious but I think why they caged her is that she was schizophrenic and they instantly think it's losing mind without even trying to consult anyone, literally.

I hate that I talk about love like it's something I possess and it's something I know and that it's something I want but I was an orphan, reared by an institution-a buck step to bankruptcy.

I hate that I wonder how it feels like to be loved when it should be innate like a child's possessing Language Acquisition Device and I pity myself. Hating Chomsky and Lenneberg for no apparent reason.

I hate that I am poetic as hell and I see things in the most creative perspective when in reality, are gaddamn agonizing-she was Paris.

That name is the most treasured poem I can never have just because 1. She's named by her mom for sure, 2. I was 1 and can hardly speak "da-da" when she was born, 3. I hate that I, as a whole even a quarter, am more nerd than my name, itself.

You see, it's Claudius Valentine. Named after, obviously, St. Valentine, who they say, secretly initiated marriage amongst soldiers which, by law, is wrong and which, by love, can never be wrong. And Claudius was the emperor who wanted nothing but his country's security, deprived soldiers to marry for his love of Rome.

And I see now why I'm single.