chapter 38.

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"Is that...a webcam?"

Elowen's face feels far warmer than it was before. "I—Yes," she answers clumsily, deciding it wasn't worth it to deny it. "Yes, that's what that is."

Corpse's eyes fall back down to her, a curious glint evident in them. "What for?" As if he doesn't already have an idea. Or multiple. He's just giving her the benefit of the doubt. "If you wouldn't mind sharing."

Yes, I would mind, she wants to respond, but it would be worse if she let his imagination run wild than if she gave him an explanation. She could lie and say the camera was for Mason, or was his idea and he bought it, but she doesn't really want to bring him up at the moment, not with the position they're currently in. It would ruin the moment. Besides, that would only give him the impression that she's into making sex tapes or something similar. Although is that any worse than the truth?

Realizing the moment is probably over anyway, she motions for Corpse to move off of her and sits up on her knees, swallowing thickly. "I needed it for my job," she says vaguely.

"And your job was..."

How does she say this without sounding promiscuous? "I don't want to say," she eventually mutters.

"You don't have to," he reassures her. "I'm sure I can fill in the gaps on my own."

"It's...It isn't what you're imagining...I don't want you to think—I never—" She fumbles over her words, frustrated, never realizing the way she's repressed her true feelings towards this. She's never had to talk about it until now. It's always been her secret.

It isn't that she's ashamed of it, necessarily. She's more afraid he won't like it.

Elowen realizes then how much she does want to explain it to him, for him to understand. "For as long as I could remember, my father and I struggled for money. It was only him looking after us and being in the national guard surprisingly doesn't pay as much as one might think. So, when I came of age, I started taking...suggestive...pictures of myself for the internet. And eventually videos."

She wishes she could have seen his reaction to that but can't bring herself to look at him. Part of her doesn't want to know, to have that burned into her memory.

"The money was good and it didn't take long for me to grow a decent fanbase." It was quick and more importantly, doable for her. Try as she might, she could never get through college, not with her mind so preoccupied and wretched most of the time. Guilt fought with her in the beginning for making ends meet by such deplorable means but soon it didn't bother her as much. "All that mattered to me was making my father's life easier," she concludes.

She sees Corpse look up in the corner of her vision. "And—your father—"

"He doesn't know. Of course not. He would've never let me keep doing it if he did. He thinks I have some normal office job, because that's what I've told him. I make sure to spread out the checks so he doesn't get suspicious, and the listing on the statements is anonymous, so he'll never know." She realizes she forgot something. "Usually the camera is put away in the closet."

"Right right..." Corpse is still processing her confession, clearly not have expected this coming from her but there is also unmistakeable intrigue in the way his eyes roam down and up her body slowly.

"You're a very difficult person to read," Elowen huffs.

"I think I've made myself very transparent with you." His gaze flickers back up to meet hers full on. "You, on the other hand, are full of dirty little surprises. I'm only disappointed that there were nude pictures of you on the internet and now they're lost forever."

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