Viridian: The Green Guide

Chapter 52: Save a Life

Izuku felt like he was watching a movie, because there was no way this could be real. Maybe it was a murder mystery and Eraserhead was the daring detective that would ultimately save the victim and catch the killer. That had to be it, because Izuku obviously wasn't the hero of the story and maybe that would explain why the body on the floor didn't feel real. At any moment, the director would stand up from one of the tables behind them and yell cut and Kohaku would sit up and wipe fake blood from her face as she laughed at the stupid looks on their faces. Somehow, Izuku knew that wasn't going to happen.

This wasn't a movie.

The realization hit him like a truck and he felt a sick feeling of dread crash down on him. This wasn't a movie. This was real, wasn't it? Izuku stumbled backwards and turned to run, anything to get away and stop looking. A part of him knew it wouldn't help, but somehow maybe if he wasn't looking he could pretend that the weird numb feeling was telling the truth and that none of this was real. It couldn't be real because if it was real then that meant that Izuku had...

Before he had even taken two steps, Izuku felt something grab his wrist and instinctively knew that it was Eraserhead's capture weapon. This was it. This was the moment he got arrested and the fact that he was quirkless wouldn't even help him because someone was dead now and it was all his fault and Eraser was going to take him to jail and his mom and kacchan would be so disappointed and All Might was right and he couldn't be a hero because what kind of a hero got people killed?!

The capture weapon on his wrist pulled him back toward Eraserhead and Izuku didn't even fight it, but instead of handcuffs like he'd expected, Izuku found himself being wrapped in strong arms.

"Kid? Don't...problem child, just..."

It was like Eraser didn't know what to say as he held Izuku in place, but his voice didn't sound angry, just sad, which was somehow even worse because that destroyed the last barrier that was preventing Izuku from crying. He didn't even really notice when the tears started flowing or when he started apologizing, he just knew that there was now a large wet patch on Eraserhead's shoulder and the only sound he could hear was his own frantic apologies muttered on repeat.

"I'm so sorry." He whimpered again. "I'm...I didn't..I didn't mean...I'm such an idiot and I deserve...it's all my fault..."

"Kid..." Eraser groaned in frustration. "Just...ok. I know you didn't mean to, just let it out."

Somehow that just made Izuku cry harder. Leave it up to a deku like him to mess up this badly. He should have just taken Kacchan's advice and jumped. Sure, maybe Kacchan would have gotten in trouble and people would have gotten hurt but at least no one would be dead!

A tiny bell jangled as the door opened and Amplifier and Rock Lock finally arrived, ready for a fight, not that there was any villains left to take down besides Izuku, who didn't deserve to resist arrest. They took one look at Izuku crying in Eraser's arms, but couldn't see the body from where they were standing, so they just took in the scene in growing confusion.

"Hey Eraser, I thought you were gonna need backup." Amplifier began. "What's going on..."

Eraser simply jerked his head toward the body as Izuku sobbed harder. Amplifier and Rock Lock came around the counter and froze as they were finally able to see everything. Rock lock swore and started doing chest compressions, not that they would do any good, as Amplifier made the call for an ambulance.

"The kid found Queen Bee, but she abandoned the host before we could get here." Eraser filled them in. "Looks like a purposefully traumatic exit to tie up loose ends."

Amplifier finished up her call and hovered anxiously, her hand raised like she wanted to touch him, but wasn't sure if that would be ok, which made Izuku feel even worse. He didn't deserve to be comforted. Somehow, over the course of the past few minutes, he'd gone from trying to run away from the body to not being able to tear his eyes away, like he was afraid that he would forget what he'd done if he looked away.

Maybe looking was the least he could do? If he couldn't go back and fix his mistakes, then maybe the least he could do was sit with the consequences of his actions and take responsibility for them? He felt Eraser shift slightly, moving to block his view. He looked tired and worried, but there was a depth to his expression that Izuku wasn't quite used to, maybe because he didn't just look at the hero all that often.

"Kid." Eraser grabbed him by the shoulders and looked deep into his soul. "Promise me you won't disappear again."

Izuku didn't get it. Why would Eraser want him to stick around? It would be best for everyone if he was just gone. Sure, maybe they'd miss him for a while and his mom would be sad, but then he wouldn't be able to fuck up this badly again.

Shouta noticed the kid's eyes flick to the side slightly, trying to look behind him, but he shifted again to block the kid's view. What was done was done and he couldn't change the past, he knew that all too well, but he'd become a hero to save as many people as possible. There was nothing he could do for Queen Bee's host, but he needed to make sure there weren't two deaths from this whole shit show. God knew the kid's mental state was fragile enough already without blaming himself for a murder, but Shouta didn't know if he could handle another month of searching obituaries for the kid's face.

Viridian still hadn't answered him and Shouta almost growled in frustration, "Kid. There's nothing you can do for her now, but you need to stay alive, got it? Heroism is...it's dangerous, kid, you know this. You've almost died so many times..."

"Then why haven't I?" The kid's voice sounded so broken. "Why am I still alive? I can't even die right!"

"Stop that kid." Rock Lock came up behind them, apparently realizing that there was no point in trying to revive the old host. "You can't blame..."

"It's my fault, though!" The kid's mental state shifted to anger and Shouta couldn't help but be grateful that it was something. "I...I should have left it to the heroes..."

"Yes. You should have." Shouta said bluntly. Lying to the kid was illogical and would only hurt him in the long run, since Viridian was smart enough to figure out those lies on his own. "But saving lives isn't an exact science. People fuck up. People die. But you have a lot of lives left to save kid, starting with your own."

"Eraser's right." Amplifier finally put a hand on his back. "I don't know exactly what happened, but...we don't want to lose you kid."

Viridian seemed to think about that for a second and Shouta looked at him intensely, "Kid. I need you to promise us that you'll stay alive tonight."

If the kid didn't promise, Shouta was going to take the kid in and get him help, no matter that it would probably destroy whatever hesitant trust the kid had in him. Honestly, he should probably do that anyway. Vigilantism really wasn't a good coping mechanism and it definitely wasn't a replacement for the therapy that the kid so obviously needed.

"Kid?" Shouta promised.

Izuku looked into Eraser's eyes. He was just doing his job, trying to save people's lives, even if they didn't deserve to be saved. Izuku took a deep breath and pushed all of his feelings down as far as they could go. He could deal with this later, but it didn't seem like they were going to arrest him, so he needed to get home so he could break down in private.

"Ok." Izuku didn't know if it was a lie or not. There was still too much going on, but... "I'll stay alive."

The for now was implied.