Darker And Colder

2.15: Everyone Bleeds

Chapter 33
Katniss's POV

Haymitch leaves, and I was calm when he spoke, but I can't be now. How did I let this happen? Any of it?

My plan first was just to save my sister. That was all. Then my plan had to be to survive the Games. After that, to try and save Rue- although that could never have happened. Then I had to get Peeta out. Then my plan was to act in love with him, to keep my family safe. Then to run away, into the woods. Until I really fell for Peeta; that's when all the plans I had ever had just unravelled. Suddenly, I realised it wasn't possible to not marry, to not fall in love, because I had. From that moment, there was no going back. That's what lead to this. Then my plan was to keep Peeta safe and alive, which I failed. So then I had to get him back, and now he's back...

I curse Snow for taking Peeta away from me, and hold onto Willow as comfort.

◇◇◇

The next morning they run a couple of tests on me, and say I can go back home. Whatever they mean by home, I don't know. 13 isn't home. Without Peeta isn't home. They help me walk and show me to a new compartment that will be "more suited to my needs".

It's next to my Mom's but further away from Peeta's. Probably so I can have help with Willow.

I barely sit down when Haymitch, Plutarch and a Capitol rebel named Fulvia walk in. "Katniss, because you have been given the Okay, we are taking you to District 12. Some of the other victors too, but it's important we take you, because you lived there." Plutarch says. "Now, we didn't just want to dump all this on you straight after you got out of hospital," but you are, I think, "so we are going tomorrow. I'm sure you can arrange for the baby to be taken care of by your mother-"

"Willow." I say, correcting him.

"Yes, I'm sure your mother will be more than happy to take care of Willow. So that leaves me to explain why you are going, I suppose. Well, we have got together a camera team and we plan on shooting something we have called Propos, short for Propaganda shots. The idea is we put you in different places, show the districts you are still fighting. Present you as the Mockingjay, and it should inspire people- to fight, to rise against the Capitol. I know it's short notice but Haymitch was the one who convinced us to wait this long. But tomorrow if you could go down to special defence before coming to the hangar that would be good. Beetee has something to show you."

◇◇◇

Peeta's POV

I hear a knock as I am about to leave to see Katniss, and open the door to Gale. A lump rises in my throat as I let him in.

"I thought you would like to know that Katniss has been moved from a hospital room back to a compartment."

"Oh, well, thanks," I say. His stare is cold and sharp. Accusing.

"Do you not know that your actions have consequences or something?" He says, leaning slightly closer. "That's what happens, you get a a baby. And if you weren't ready to deal with that, and neither was she-"

"Gale, what is this?"

"You not caring that you have a child. Not caring that Katniss has given up her old life for a life with you, and you go yelling that she's a mutt? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You don't know what's going on."

"Yeah I do, you can't face the real responsibilities that come with what you do. You say you love Katniss and then expect loads back and then you get it and it's too much. Why didn't you just leave her alone instead of hurting her?"

The words are like he has fashioned them into a knife and stabbed my heart, only it's a thousand times more painful. "Gale, I love her. And Willow."

"Sure didn't seem like that yesterday. What makes you think Katniss deserves someone like you? Yelling that she is better off dead. Her and YOUR CHILD."

"Gale, please."

Now Gale starts yelling. "NO. WHY WOULD SHE EVEN THINK SHE SHOULD BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU WHEN SHE HAS ME?"

"THAT WASN'T ME," I tell him.

"Oh yeah? Sure..."

"In the Capitol... Snow tortured me," I break. My heart cracks at me saying this to him, but I can't have him yelling anymore.  "Changed my memories. I have... fits. Where there is nothing but the twisted memories. I have to stay away because if it happens when I'm around her I could kill her. I hate myself. I absolutely hate myself. I just wish it wasn't like this. I can't even remember everything that happened in the first games."

He stands in icy silence. "Then you are right. You should stay away."

"What?"

"You have NO RIGHT TO PUT HER THROUGH THIS-"

I cut him off, for it's my turn to be yelling, "NEITHER DO YOU. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO KNOW ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO TELLING KATNISS! THE REASON SHE DOESN'T KNOW IS BECAUSE IT'LL HURT HER MORE."

"WELL THEN," he says, coming closer and lowering his voice, "stay away."

Suddenly, a rush of pain floods through my face and I see only a starry night sky. There's no sky in 13. A faint trickle of some liquid runs down my lip. Blood.

I throw a punch back and feel my fist connect with his jaw, sending his head back. His hands grip my throat and throw me against a wall. I know I can't breathe.

A face appears at the door, but it is blurred. I hear shouts and Gale's hands are torn off me just as the edges of my vision go blank.

I manage to breathe again a little before it all disappears.

◇◇◇

Katniss's POV

I can see Peeta, slumped on the floor and passed out, his throat bruised and blood running from his nose. Gale is there, thrashing about as Haymitch tries to grab him.

"What the hell happened?" I say, staring at the scene in front of me, barely registering what is right before me. I have Willow in my arms; I brought her to see Peeta, but he won't exactly be very useful passed out on the floor.

"Looks like someone," Haymitch says, "decided to pay Peeta a visit." He aims the next sentence at Gale. "What exactly do you think you were doing here?"

"Trying to teach that jerk a lesson."

"And what lesson would that be? That he is mentally ill so it would be better if he passed out? Now wait here," Haymitch threatens, going to the phone to call the hospital.

"Why?" I say, staring at Gale. "Why did you need to do that? I'm not yours, Gale, get that into your damned head! What the hell makes you think you need to beat up Peeta to impress me? Why would you do something so sick? Just stay away, please, for the third time. I don't need you anymore. Grow up."

"Catnip..." He says, almost desperately, like he's innocent.

"Don't call me that." I storm out, Willow in my arms.