Fragile Little Things ✓

22 deserve

TIME RUSHES BY. I wake up every morning and somehow get to campus, go to the flower shop and get back home, but at the end of the day, everything is a big blur. Nothing is really memorable anymore. I’ve become a caricature of myself, and I’m not quite sure how to color the black and white of my life again. I wonder if it’s going to be this way all the time now.

Campus is closing for winter break and Mae is leaving to visit her family, which means I’ll be without her until the new year. I’m not sure what Kade is doing, but I doubt it’ll make a difference. He doesn’t make me feel less alone anymore. I busy myself with trying to find a tutor, but I can’t seem to get the picture of the blonde girl from the ice cream shop out of my head. Mila Roth.

I make my mind up to ask him about it. Soon. There’s a party tonight, one last one before campus closes, and I wouldn’t bother to go if it weren’t for Mae insisting since it would be the last time we celebrate together before the new year.

Right now, I’m getting ready, but I’ve zoned out about a hundred times already and Scarlett is rushing me because it’s 10pm already. She seems different…nervous, somehow. And she’s never nervous. If I cared a little more I would ask, but I let it go.

“Indigo,” she yells from my door, “What the hell are you wearing?”

I glance down at my half-outfit. I put on loose harem pants after I showered and I was trying on a faded black sweater before I zoned out, so right now, I look like something a Bohemian threw up.

I hold back a chagrined smile. “I’ll put on jeans.”

Scarlett exhales. “I take it back, I don’t care what you wear. Just make it fast before all the good drinks are gone.”

Before she leaves, I notice her outfit. It’s a lilac and pink houndstooth two-piece, and she paired it with knee-high boots. The outfit makes my chest squeeze, and for a second I feel like my old self again.

I rip out the frumpy sweater I had on and pull on a prettier off-shoulder sweater. It’s a shade of cream. I slip on tiny gold hoops and even some mascara. I leave my hair loose down my back. Mae was playing around yesterday, and I let her straighten it. It’s not as straight now, wavier.

When I stare at my reflection in my mirror, it breathes some life back into me. Maybe this party won’t be so bad. Maybe it’ll make me feel something.

I haven’t felt anything in so long.

After I pull on my jeans and slip on a pair of black Docs, I follow Scarlett out the door, not missing the “finally” she huffs out, locking the door behind her.

She pauses to give me a once-over. “I like what you’re wearing now.”

“I thought you said you didn’t care what I wear.”

She shoots me a glare before muttering an acidic, “Let’s go.”

I can’t help but smile as I follow behind her. Surprisingly, I’m not sure how I would’ve passed the last few months by if it weren’t for Scarlett. In her own way, she pushes and prods for me to do things, and after some grumbling, I get them done. She’s become . . . a friend. Of sorts.

It’s freezing when we reach the party. It’s off-campus, hosted by the football team to celebrate the end of their season. It’s bound to be huge, and by the booming music and packed lawn, it’s clear that they went all out. A ream of girls, likely freshman, spill out of the building, some already drunk. Overhead, Drake’s Way 2 Sexy booms from the sound system.

The music thrums through my veins and settles in my ribcage as I follow Scarlett into the building. She’s smaller than me but the glare on her face parts the crowd, and I’ve never been happier to have her in front of me. Entering parties is an extreme sport.