"Courage to the end."

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Hawk's POV

Once I left the shower, all I could feel was shame.

There was a cloud looming over my head, and it was as if I was still in the shower, feeling the pressure of the water on my shoulders, but this time it was heavy rain.

I glanced outside, needing to be reminded of how big and hopeful the world apparently was. The sky was dark and grey.

A storm was coming.

Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that something horrible was going to happen today. It seems like the universe knew, too.

Today, we could lose.

Today, we could betray the people we were supposed to protect. 

Today, people could die.

Today . . . today, I could die.

This could be the end. Right here, right now. It could be the last clear thought I have before being free – before leaving my burdens behind.

Today, today, today -

It all ends at sundown.

There's eight hours to go.

. . .

It was quiet in the lounge room.

I had finished rebandaging and treating my injuries, and now, I could finally rest.

Touya was still asleep – I don't know what's taking him so long to wake up. He doesn't have a fever, and there's nothing wrong with him medically, so there should be no reason for him to not be awake right now. Midnight's quirk should have worn off roughly just over an hour ago, now, so he shouldn't still be unconscious.

Maybe he was just sleeping.

Maybe I was thinking too much again.

I need to stop thinking.

My foot was throbbing and so was my arm – the burn itching uncomfortably against the bandage. A part of me wanted to take it off and scratch at it until some sick part of me was satisfied, but I knew I shouldn't, because first of all, it'll just make it hurt even more, and because I just wasn't motivated.

I lied down on the couch, grateful that I had decided to get two in some spur of the moment shopping run. Touya was still silent, motionless on the other couch pressed to the furthest wall, while I took up the one beside the window, raising my head slightly to glance outside.

The buildings weren't golden anymore. Everything was shining in a blinding silver.

I turned away from the pure light.

For a few minutes my breaths evened and my eyes were trapped under heavy weights. My chest felt caged, never truly able to hold a breath for too long, but it was enough. It had always been enough.

I felt my right wing twitch slightly, some feathers sensing a change of drift in the room, and seconds later I heard some shifting from the couch across the room. Huh, looks like Touya's waking up. I should get up – to sit beside him and check if he's okay, especially after his emotional breakdown just hours before – but I just couldn't. The energy from earlier was gone, drained from my body and dripping to the cool floor, just like the water from the shower.

Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder, the grip firm but gentle, and my eyebrow twitched. I still couldn't open my eyes.

"Hawks," Touya called, and I held in a wince when his thumb pressed into a bruise on my collarbone. He called out again, his voice a bit more grounding. "Hawks."

I squeezed my eyelids tightly together, hoping to shake the weights that were holding them down. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry. Maybe I'm just dehydrated.

"Hm?" I replied, releasing a breath.

There was a pause before the hand left my shoulder.

"Where are we?"

I crinkled my nose and felt an itch in my back. "We're at my place. Welcome."

Touya released a huff, probably dissatisfied with my behaviour, and I heard a single footstep. He was probably looking around, gathering his bearings – seeking out any potential threats and escape roots. I suddenly became awfully aware of the open window to my left. Touya could just leave – just jump out the window and escape like a dead leaf falling from a once beautiful tree in the wind. He could disappear forever, and vanish just like he did all those years ago, when I thought that he was never coming back, when I thought that he was dead

There was a soft rustling, and a new pressure against the couch. I managed to crack my eyes open and saw Touya sitting on the floor, leaning against the side of the couch. A small part of me had the sudden urge to reach out and touch his hair – to see if it's actually spiky and hard, but I couldn't find myself lifting my hand. I couldn't bring myself to move. If Touya did throw himself out that window, would I follow?

Would I?

I said I was going to rest, and that's what my brain was now switched to. No moving. No thinking. Just rest.

"Are you feeling okay, Hawks?"

My eyes had drifted shut again, and I quickly tried to open them. Through lidded eyes, blazing turquoise orbs watched back. I swallowed. "I'm tired, so I need to rest up. You should, too," I blandly said. "We have a big fight tonight, and we're meeting up with Eraserhead at noon, so now is the time for you to gather yourself and rest, before it's too late."

Touya scoffed, and he turned back around, leaning against the couch again. "It won't be too late. Nothing bad will happen to you or me tonight if everyone follows through with the plan. You can rest now, but I prefer to rest after the battle. After I win."

I frowned softly, but then smiled. After all these years, Touya was still Touya. "I love your confidence. Never change – never let it leave you."

He turned back to me, his eyes still cool as ever. He smirked, and it was as if we were little kids again, playing at the playground even though Touya wasn't allowed to. There was a thrill, that way. "Not until my last breath."

I smiled, remembering when we would pretend to be pirates while climbing the playground equipment, swinging our imaginative swords while screaming - "Courage to the end?"

A ghost of a smile traced his lips, lost in the nostalgic phrase from our childhood.

"Courage to the end."


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