Tomarry Oneshots

Change Your Last Name

"Er - what."

"Your name." Tom Riddle sighed, rocking back on his heels, hands behind his back, eyes dark with amusement.

Harry gaped at him for a moment, aware the entire class was staring at his weird boggart - thing. (Namely Tom Riddle - for some reason?!)

"It's dreadful. Especially your last name."

Harry glared indignantly. "What. Really?"

"You should change it."

"Change my last name? Are you serious?! To what?" Harry asked, rolling his eyes. This was a stupid fear.

The boggart leaned forward and whispered: "Riddle."

"What." Harry's eyes widened and he blushed heavily, his hands falling to the side. "Oh my god."

Tom laughed delighted. "You must admit. Harry Riddle has a certain ring to it, doesn't it?"

"You - you -" Harry spluttered. He groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "I'll never be able to look Voldemort in the face again!"

#

"Your last name is horrible."

"Not you too!" Harry Potter exploded, facing his arch nemesis in the great hall. "I AM NOT CHANGING MY NAME TO RIDDLE!"

"What." Voldemort's voice was flat, and his eyes full of confusion. "Why would you want to..." He trailed off, his eyes widening in realisation. He smirked. "How about this then - Harry Potter does sounds dreadful, but Thomas Potter...?"

Harry let out a mortified squeak, turning crimson.

Everyone in the great hall stared, jaws hanging open, understanding the insinuation.

"I'm going to kill you!" Harry bellowed, embarrassed beyond belief. "I can't believe you just said that!"

".:Are you sure you want to kill me? We could do something else instead.:." Voldemort said suggestively.

Harry blanched at the parseltongue - which he still understood! - before turning crimson. "No way you - you - FUCK ME!" Harry fled, hearing footsteps behind him. "THAT WAS NOT AN INVITATION!"