Tribute

10.

How am I going to kill these people?

How am I going to kill them? These children?

How do I do this without going completely mad?

How am I possibly supposed to win these games when I can't even look at the others without my thoughts banging around in my mind like a hammer against a nail?

My lungs feel like they are closing in on themselves as I finally reach the apartment, walking inside and ignoring the confused looks that I get from Amor and Mags. They say things. Amor asks me why I'm back so soon and I give him a halfhearted excuse about being tired just so he'll leave me alone before I walk to my room, feigning a calm expression until I pass through the door.

My hands fumble with the doorknob, unable to get a grip on it. I just kick the door and it slams open, the sound no doubt echoing around the apartment as I walk into my room. I close the door and lock it just as a tingling feeling spreads from my feet, up my legs, and into my chest. I just make it to my bed before I collapse, not landing on the bed but onto the floor instead.

My breathing is quick and shallow, my head is spinning, and my entire body feels like it's numb. I clench my hands into tight fists. My nails dig into my palms, and that's the only thing that I can feel in my body right now other than the cold floor against my face.

I can feel my heart as it hammers painfully within my chest, and a cold sweat forms on my skin. The sounds of crickets echo in my ears and everything is tingling. My hands, my feet, my head, everything. I can't move, I can't even breathe. My vision is going black, my ears ring, and my body shakes.

I hear the door open, and a voice echoes in my ears, but I don't really hear them. I don't even see them. I realize that my eyes are closed, and I jump and my eyes snap open as I feel a warm hand place itself onto my shaking shoulder. I have to blink a few times to focus my eyes, and I am met by the greenest eyes that I have ever seen, eyes as green as the sea on a sunny day.

"Lena."

"Finnick..."

He brings his hand up from my shoulder to touch my face with the tips of his fingers, and his brows furrow, "You're sweating buckets. What happened?" His voice is gentle, concerned even, as he looks at my face again.

I am silent for a moment, turning my face away from the warmth of his hand to rest my cheek on the welcoming coolness of the floor, a coolness that I could fall into. That I wish I could fall into. I shake my head, "I made eye contact with a girl.... the one from eight..." I tell him in a voice that shakes.

His brows furrow, "The little one?"

I nod. He looks confused, "Why would that bother you?" He asks me.

I look at him like he's forgetting something very important. My eyes narrow and I'm sure that I look half dead right now, though he seems to understand what I'm trying to say with my silent stare after a few seconds.

"Oh." Is all he says.

Neither of us move, or say anything. I lay here on the cool wood floor, and he crouches over me with furrowed brows, deep in thought.

I am startled as I feel his arms beneath my body, and suddenly he's carrying me. I look at him with wide eyes, "What are you doing?" I ask.