(S)imping for the Radio Demon

Chapter 13

wearing wigs and disguises on a tour bus. Moxxie looks through binoculars at Lyle's mansion. "Gee! I wonder whose house this is?" Moxxie says as the tour guide smiles
"And to your right is the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton!"
The crowd "oohs" and takes pictures with their cell phones. Blitzo removes his sunglasses, wearing a clown wig. "Let's do it, gang!" Blitz says this as M n M, me and Blitz jump from the tour bus, taking out our weapons, Blitzo has a flintlock pistol, Moxxie a rifle, I have a huge black Axe and Millie two sharp swords. We jump over a fence and land in poses.
"Let's kill this rich guy!" Millie says as we start racing over toward the windows.

"And here you'll find four tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder! Things like this could happen to famous people all the time!"
People snap pictures as we peer through the window at an old Lyle in bed.
"Wow... That machine really did a number on him." Moxxie says as we look in, Lyle kisses a picture in his hands. "Goodbye... my one true love."

I smile, feeling a bit of sympathy for him as he continues to talk
"All the riches of the world can't fill the emptiness I'm feeling now that my shitty old body can't do anything of value."

"Oh, fantastic! He's gonna do our job for us!" Lyle makes a noose out of an IV tube.
"Should we go in there and tie it for him?" Moxxie ask as Lyle is about to put it over his head as I took popcorn out, we start watching with drinks and popcorn. The noose glows white and a force knocks us back. Blitzo's kitten sock flies away, making him sad. I put my hand on his shoulder as I look back into the window seeing Lyle adjusts to the light and sees the three cherubs floating down gracefully in three rays of light. "Oh lord, I'm being haunted by ugly orphan children now!"

"Who the fuck are they?" Blitz says angrily "Sir, those are..."

"Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!" The humanoid Angel says making Lyle a bit annoyed
"I hate filthy stinking orphan children!"
"We're here to convince you not to kill yourself, sir. To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven benefited by your amazing technological advances."

Blitz angry "Oh, HELL no!" He marches in through the window, smashing the glass instantly. "Don't forget--" Misjudging where the floor is in relation to the window, blitzs face-plants onto the floor. Me, Moxxie and Millie enter through a door.
" Lyle Lipton, it is our--" Moxxie glances at Blitzo before looking back at Lyle. " ...humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die."

"I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old... and gross?" I say, making a face as a Angel come up to me "Is that a serious question? He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!" Keenie flies around and happily throws Lyle's dollar bills in the air.

"Nnnno!" Lyle says angrily
"He could pay for new hospitals and schools!"
"Why won't you let me die?" Lyle says as Blitz appears beside him. "Oh, sounds like you need help offin' yourself there, buddy. Y/N, what do we got for this fella?"
I tosses a variety of weapons to Blitz and Lyle.

"I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas--"
"He's classier than that!" Collin says as
Lyle points a rifle in his mouth, before Collin takes it from him.
"There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle!"

"Yeah, right. Smells like he ain't been out of bed in months!" Millie says as sniffs Lyle. She becomes visibly ill, covers her mouth, and while holding Moxxie by the shoulder, vomits on the floor.

"Life can be beautiful at any age." Cletus says making me roll my eyes
"And we'll show him!" Keenie says as the group of angels cheer "YEAH!"

"Nnnnno!" Moxxie, Me, Millie and Blitz scream!
-

C.H.E.R.U.B. takes Lyle and his bed outside to a hill, overlooking a forest and a lake.

"Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! Or wealth!" Cletus says happily as
Collin comes up " you were to end your life, you'd be missing all of this!"
Blitz appears in a tiger costume with Millie, Moxxie and me wearing cats outfits
"Mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" Blitzo says as he does a suggestive gesture with his fingers, indicating sex. I smirk, placing my hand on my hip beside Millie

Keenie covers her mouth and gasps. Collin blankly stares in disbelief, and Cletus gives a disappointed look.
"That is so inappropriate!" Keenie says as Millie flips the double bird while insulting Keenie "Oh, kiss our ass, prude!"

Blitzo shoves Lyle aside in the face and sits next to him. "Anyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close." Lyle looks through the binoculars and sees a group of bunnies and squirrels together. The critters are suddenly torn apart and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves.
"-Oh no!"

Collin tries to tug his binoculars away "S-Stop looking!"

Lyle continues to hold onto the binoculars "I can't stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"

A bear swipes a wolf to the ground and raises a paw to attack. The bear is then crushed by a falling tree, cut up by a beefy logger with a chainsaw. A beehive lands on the man's head and he screams. Both his arms are chopped off by the chainsaw and his body is skewered by a charging stag as lighting flashes. Everyone freezes in horror, while Blitzo fakes it and grins smugly.

"Let's go check out someplace else!" Cletus says as me and Millie do a fist bump in their cat costumes, I making a cute squeak sound.

Millie grab my phone "let me take a picture of you" "okay"

Posing as she took a picture of me, I smile as she hands me my phone and send Al a picture of me

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🖤 Alastor 🖤

Me:

Alastor: watch it dear... don't wanna wild me up.
Me: maybe I do
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