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Am I good enough?
Sometimes I don't think I am.
It's always the little thoughts.
The little blips that suck the most because once they pop up it's so hard to get rid of them.
And I can't fucking cry.
All I want to do is fucking cry.
But I can't.
Crying would help, it would take it away even just for a second.
But I can't.
Even though I'm alone.
As much as I feel unloveable right now I know that people love me.
Which begs the question why do they love me?
What about me is loveable?
Sometimes I don't love me at all.
It's hard to love me even on the good days.
Why do I do this to myself.
Stuck thinking on a endless fucking loop.
I truly deeply struggle to not know stuff.
I hate not knowing things.
It messes with my anxiety.
I'm so fucked up because of mum and everyone else who's used me and lied to me.
They don't know me yet.
They don't know how broken I really am.
I'm so scared that once they see that.
That they won't want me anymore.
She is so right.
I need therapy.
