What she didn't understand was how the world could be so cruel. Why was it that when she was trying her very best, it wasn't enough? There was always something or someone telling her that she shouldn't or that she couldn't. She was frustrated. Why didn't they let her try? Why would they only let her fail? It was tiring, constantly being told that you were not capable, that you couldn't do it simply because–well, who even knows. I don't want to live this way anymore, I want to be free. Hot tears streaming down her face, comforting her, for it was the only warmth she has felt in years. A strange comfort, knowing that the warmth only came from pain. She realized she did not deserve this pain, she was being tortured by her thoughts. Overthinking kills, they say, and they were right. Thoughts of the past and visions of the future eating away at my sanity with every second of everyday. There was no escape, no luxury vacation place to get away, only in my dreams was where I felt like I could do anything I wanted. I was alone. Alone with myself, my thoughts, and my mind. We think we know ourselves because we spend everyday in our bodies, but we're wrong. When do you truly have time to be alone? Time to stop viewing yourself through another's eyes? This was one of my problems. I was constantly viewing myself as another would want to see me. It was only when I closed my eyes and saw who she was and who she wanted to be and what she was made of, did I finally see who I was. And let me tell you, she's beautiful. Hibernating in white space, waiting to bloom, but I'm still growing. I will continue to grow for a long time, because growing is a process, a process not as easy as you may think. The world is a cruel place and there are always obstacles testing you and waiting for you to fall down. They will try to take away your water, they will try to take away your sun, they will try to rip your roots out of the ground, and that's okay. You are a seed, and no matter where you end up, you will find a way to keep growing.
YOU ARE READING
things happen for a reason...just believe!
SpiritualAll of my thoughts in words. Here I come undone. Here I speak my mind and let it run free. I know that there is more, and I hope we find it. Take a look at what my mind has to say.
