Steal your heart kinda actually not really

i dint even know anymore wish i could orphan this

Xiao was on his way to the grocery store before a paper bag got shoved onto his head.

The bag was still on when he awoke. It felt itchy and the place smelled like lavender essential oil. It was quiet except for the sound of someone flipping a coin. When he tried to move, it seemed like he was bound to a chair and was probably kidnapped.

It seems like you're awake! Xiao heard them walk on the floor and by the sound of their footsteps echoing, he was in a warehouse. I bought your groceries for you! The writing on that list was very good too.

Wow, thanks. I vividly remember asking you to do that.

No worries! I have some almond tofu too. Would you like some?

Yes! I mean um, no.

Reasons NOT to accept food from a kidnapper:

1. They know you like the food even though you never told them and;

2. It can be poisoned or just taste bad.

Your loss. Mmm, this smells so good! Yummm

-

Some minutes of suffering later...

That was great! I forgot to tell you, your belongings are just here so when you escape I'll give them back!

Zhongli always seems to know where Xiao is whenever he's in danger.

WHY DID YOU BREAK THE DOOR?????

Bye Childe, I'll get Xiao now. Zhongli carried the chair he was on and ran away.

We didn't even chat for a minute!

-

A few weeks later..

This time, Xiao was going to go to a restaurant until he saw a food truck selling tofu.

Hello, can I buy almond tofu?

Of course, just come in the white van and I'll give you some. The voice sounded strangely familiar.

Here it is! I will bring some drinks too. The truck set off for some place no one knows.

-

How did you not know it was me?

There are many people I meet everyday.

Alright. This time I will not give you your belongings! They are just in your house.

The door opened, and Zhongli entered.

Hi Zhongli! Let's fight I'll give you Xiao if you win!

Sure.

Whilst they were fighting, Someone was shouting. CHILDE COME HERE STOP WASTING YOUR TIME!!

I'm not wasting my time, see you soon! He disappeared in a flash.

-

The next time Xiao got kidnapped, he was walking his dog Azdaha and just got dragged on the floor by Childe.

-

When he woke up, Azdaha was just sniffing him and the bag wasn't on this time. He felt so tired like he was going to pass out.

-

There was a blanket on him and a pillow behind his head. His kidnapper was strangely not selling his organs or anything like that, not like he wanted that to happen to him though.

Xiao, why isn't Zhongli coming here?

Zhongli had late work last night and was probably still sleeping.

Who knows? He's not the only one who can save me. He has many other cases to attend to, and his work doesn't revolve around you.

Xiao turned to look at him, and he looked like his parents just told him he was adopted.

Umm obviously not! Of course there are many people

who can save you. And there are lots of cases he handles. His hands were rubbing the back of his neck. It's really stupid to think that. Obviously.

What's wrong with you?

Childe became embarrassed. Nothing! I'm just normal. You're the one kidnapped, I'll ask the questions here.

Xiao was wondering what made him like that. He just said Zhongli's work didn't revolve around-

Are you um, jealous he has other cases?

Childe's ears became red. He lets out a breath and becomes calm. I don't know what you are talking about. Xiao is almost convinced, except for the fact that his ears were still bright red.

Haha, is little Childe sad he isn't Zhongli's number one case? What are you going to do? This'll be good blackmail. A sword is pointing to his throat.

How do you know I won't tell?

I didn't really think I'd get this far.

So you've been kidnapping me to chitchat with Zhongli or whatever, and you didn't think anyone will find out?

I spread it across a bunch of weeks! I committed other crimes in between!

Except for kidnapping other people.

I don't want to hear that from you. You've gotten yourself kidnapped like three times already.

I didn't get myself kidnapped. You won't leave me alone, you're a horrible person.

How'd you figure that out?

Same way I figured out you're a simp for Zhongli.

Xiao did not except silence.

Please tell me you're kidding, you don't actually-

Stop talking! Childe squeaks. SQUEAKS! Oh no, I want to wake up I don't want to deal with this, I never wanted to be kidnapped by someone who has a crush on my roommate-

No way you have a crush on-

He was cut off by the door being kicked down.

Hi Childe, kidnapping is bad.

Sure, let's fight!

-

Ow I got cut. Bye bye then!

-

Hi Venti! You won't believe what happened today.

Did a plastic bag confess its undying love for you?

No, it's about Childe. He's been kidnapping me cause he like

(Wait no he told me not to snitch.)

Likeeeeessss fighting Zhongli!

Oh, that's weird. He seems like that type of person though. Wanna play Fortnite?

Sure!