This Universe Is Ours (BxB)

F I V E

As the dawn sunlight bled through his small window, Aaban squinted his eyes and groaned loudly. His school tie remained knotted around his forehead, while his stained shirt and trousers lay in a crumpled heap on the bedroom floor. Specks of Oscar's vomit were splashed across the toecaps of his school shoes. Hurriedly, Aaban flung open the window, freeing the warm, dense air caught in his bedroom, saturated with traces of the nightclub, of alcohol and sweat.

Aaban's skull pulsed with blood and his throat was parched. Slowly, he circled his tongue around the insides of his mouth, gathering enough acrid saliva to swallow. Through Lilian, he had witnessed the details of a hangover, like her pale face resting on the toilet bowl. He had patted her back during lunch break, while sweat beaded across her forehead and she wished to curl up in a dark room with a glass of cold water.

Aaban felt unexplainably hungover, despite only drinking cans of Redbull the evening prior. Perhaps all the energy and excitement—culminating in Oscar snoring in Aaban's lap as Hadiza stumbled from the nightclub exit—had caused such fatigue. Hadiza had insisted on finding Oscar something to eat. She had bid goodbye to Aaban beneath the streetlights, thanking him for the perfect birthday, and leaving him alone on the curb surrounded by strangers. Eventually, Aaban closed his eyes, before waking up in his bed.

Standing in the shower, Aaban distracted himself from his near-kiss experience with Oscar. He scoured his skin with an exfoliating sponge, leaving red marks across his arms and legs. Afterwards, he brushed his teeth hard, foam frothing from his lips and sliding down his chin. Although they hadn't kissed, he could taste Oscar inside his mouth. Aaban retched as he cleaned his tongue; his eyes reddened with tears and the veins across his neck darkened and swelled.

Afterwards, Aaban lodged his fingers down his throat and vomited the RedBull which fizzled in the toilet water. He brushed his teeth again. Then, he dressed in clean clothes, tossing his uniform into the washing machine, before scrubbing his school shoes with a dry brush and polish. Later, he tiptoed outside and lay on his front lawn in the rain. Couples strolled past arm-in-arm with their dogs and umbrellas, children roller-skated, a girl sang off-key to the music in her headphones, and a boy smoked the end of a cigarette. Aaban watched the world beyond him, avoiding the reality within himself.

After gasping in mouthfuls of clean air, Aaban's body was finally drained of the cigarette smoke and sweat of the nightclub. Drenched, he returned to his bedroom and read the Qu'ran. The storm beyond hammered against his windowpane. He cleared his mind of Oscar, stuffing it instead with the familiar sacred passages of his childhood. Then, he prayed for forgiveness.

I'm sorry for choosing to visit Oscar myself, controlling the will of the universe. I'm sorry for giving into temptation and holding his hand. I'm sorry for screaming swear words in the nightclub. I'm sorry for admiring Hadiza as she danced and kissed other boys. I'm sorry for granting emotions with control over my body.

Gradually, Aaban's soul was bathed in forgiveness and cleansed of all his sin. Although Aaban understood he couldn't promise to never meet Oscar again, he realized boundaries must be drawn in their relationship. He had to inform Oscar they could be friends but nothing more, because his life wasn't created for more. Since befriending Oscar, Aaban's had neglected his studies, deceived his father and sinned in the eyes of his Creator. Therefore, he agreed he would continue to visit Oscar from time to time, yet only when the universe wanted.

Aaban wasn't allowed to hang out with Lillian on the weekends; therefore, he always spent them with his father, as he would much rather visit the city than remain in his dark bedroom with nothing but his thoughts. His father had decided the backyard required a renovation. Hidden beneath autumn leaves and strangling weeds, decaying clay ornaments, a murky pond polluted with more algae than fish, a dilapidated gazebo, rusting children's toys, and footballs from their neighbour.