𝕸𝖆𝖞𝖇𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝕬𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝕷𝖎𝖋𝖊

Jealousy 1

I was running home, I had just taken off. What me 2 seconds ago would have thought wasn't a selfish thing to do but it was oh-so selfish. I had thought it was to benefit August, so he wouldn't have to go through me being so goddamn upset but really I was just trying to avoid the constant thought that August soon would be so caught up in royal duties that he would soon just forget all about me. I should be spending all the moments I can with him but its hard when my brain loves gravitating towards all the "good stuff" like how I have to often go to bed hungry and how my best friend whos one of the two only good things in my life soon might barely be in my life at all. 

When I got home I opened the door (closed it, don't want thieves to come and take a handful of riches that we don't have) and went straight to my room. My room is my comfort spot along with that cave where I often go to clear my head, but right now that wouldn't be helpful. 

I closed my door behind me and sank to the floor. My heart was beating pretty fast, but not too fast it was just because I had ran a couple miles straight to get here. I felt bad for leaving August behind but I couldn't go back. 

I wanted to scream into a pillow or punch my wall or just sleep and get sucked into some random dream. I instead just decided to pull my hair in frustration. 

There was a couple knocks on the door. I got up and peeked through my blinds. It was an exasperated looking August and a seemingly concerned Zarah. That's when my two parts of my brain started to chit-chat, figuratively obviously. I end up listening to the side that says "You'd be a huge dick if you didn't open the fucking door." and slowly get up and get to the door. 

I go up to the door. And damn, August runs faster than I remember. I expected August to find me eventually but not this quick. I opened the door and August grabbed me by the shoulders and looked mad. But sad. But mad. Mad/sad. 

"I'm sorry!" he yells. I don't know how to take that. Especially considering none of this is his fault. 

"Why are you sorry?" I ask. Honestly curious why. 

"I made you feel bad. Right? And that's why you left. I'm really sorry." he says looking very pitiful. 

"No, it was just me. I'm the one who should be apologizing, I've been thinking too much about too many things and it really messed me up. I apologize." 

"I'm glad you're not mad," he says and looks a lot more at ease. 

"Why would I be?" 

"It's just... I can't really be there for you after I become king because of all the responsibilities. You clearly know that... But I'll try to be there for you. As much as I can." 

"You can't worry about someone singular when you're trying to take care of a whole kingdom." 

"But I can take care of you while I take care of the kingdom. Lower the rent, taxes, anything that helps," he says while looking like he's taking mental notes. 

"Thanks, dude." I smile at the gesture. 

"Um... hug?" he asks.

I nod and hug him which cools my mind down but makes my heart flutter.

I feel bad for making him feel so bad just for my own selfish reasons. 

We sit like that for a while and soon enough we let go of the hug, since we can't be glued together forever that'd be fucking weird. 

"Not to steal August or anything I kind of need to give him a gift," Zarah says awkwardly "Don't worry I'll give him back after."

"I'm not some property." August glares at Zarah.