Why does it seem like no one ever wants me after they get to know me?
Is my personality that repulsive?
Or is it that once they see me
once they really see me
they dont like what they see.
ANYTIME someone wants me
the minute they actually get to know the real me
they bail
they run away and leave my feelings behind
And now I've put up so many walls
so many walls that I can never trust that people actually want me
so many walls that I no longer catch feelings
I feel like they look at me and see my fat ass or maybe my waist
my waist that is proportionately small
as compared to my hips
and it is then they decide
that got what they want
But once I put my feelings on the line
I become too needy
too obsessive
too annoying
too indecisive
too unmotivated
too sad
too broken
too weird
and then I'm not good enough
not good enough to keep up the pursuit
They refuse to see the me beyond my flaws to see the me who loves unrelentlessly
and the ne who will make the biggest sacrifices for the people I care about
the me who puts the happiness of others before her own
And it fucking hurts, it really fucking does
It hurts to be constantly second guessed and ditched
Yes, I have flaws, and so does everyone else, but apparently mine are too big to be accepted.
Why is it so hard for people to like me for who I really truly am
