Love Me Tender (A Kaimelia - Kai Bartley/Amelia Shepherd - fanfiction)

Part 9

I knew it was Kai behind my door the moment the first knock sounded. They haven't texted me - something that initially surprised me but then made more sense the more I thought of it.

They probably took this as a rejection and maybe it is for the best. I'm a mess living half a life here with these exciting opportunities and half of my life back in Seattle with a child and his father who things are still rocky with. Add my sobriety that's barely hanging on by a thread into the mix..

So I don't open the door, just slowly tiptoe to it and peek through the little peephole. And sure enough, it's Kai. Just the sight of them makes my pulse quicken as memories of last night flood my brain.

I keep quiet when they knock again, my heart aching for making them feel like this. Like I'm ignoring them. Like I don't care. When the truth is that I probably care more than I should given that I've known them for only a few months.

My walls break down at the third knock and I open the door by just a little. I've been crying for the past however many hours so I look too terrible to be seen.

There's a moment of silence and then a small 'hi'. And I can't stop the sound escaping my lips.

Fresh tears emerge from my eyes and I sob involuntarily, shutting the door immediately out of embarrassment.

Kai is so unbelievably good to me and I've hurt them. And it feels horrible on top of all the pain I'm already feeling.

I thought about telling them. Or Meredith at least. But I wanted to know for sure before worrying anyone else. And now that it is confirmed that my tumor has regrown, I have absolutely no idea how to tell anyone.

I sink to the floor, resting my back against the door. Behind it, I hear Kai do the same.

"If you want me to leave, I will. But I need you to tell me. To say it out loud," Kai says, their voice muffled by the closed door between us.

Still, I sense the pain in it. Kai doesn't want to go and I don't want them to. In a moment of courage (or stupidity), I turn around on my knees and yank the door open, startling Kai with the movement, as they are settled against it.

They turn with a surprised look in their eyes that disappears momentarily, followed by a look of worry and remorse.

I stare into Kai's eyes for a few seconds, ignoring the ridiculousness of the situation. Two people kneeling on different sides of a now-open door, looking at each other expectantly.

They reach out a hand and touch my cheek so gently that it sends shivers down my spine. It's only when they wipe across my skin that I realize there are more tears there.

"I don't-" I say, barely getting it out before my voice breaks. Kai is up on their feet before I can react and their strong arms pull me up and into their embrace. Their grip is gentle and yet strong and I can't remember the last time I felt so secure.

I allow myself to melt into them, to forget everything for just a moment and breathe.

I know that Kai is taller than me but my heels usually make up for some of the difference. I'm barefoot now and incredibly tiny in their arms, welcoming the feeling and closing my eyes to escape even more.

Kai leads me a few steps further into the room and releases one arm from around me, closing the door with a soft click before returning and hugging me even tighter, their fingers stroking my hair gently.

Tears stream more freely now but instead of feeling sad I just feel immense relief. The pain has stopped for just a minute and I enjoy the sensation fully, not wanting to ever let go.

--

Kai has led me to sit on the bed now, sitting so close to me that our legs are touching. Their arm is still around me and it seems like that's the only thing keeping me together.

They haven't said a word and I appreciate the silence, using it to try and figure out how to explain it all. It feels even more difficult than the first time around.

I turn to face Kai and find them already looking at me. I would kill to know what they're thinking right now. My eyes scan their face, trying to figure it out, and stop on their lips. Last night seems so far away and the realization hits me that it might've been our first and last kiss.

That thought is too much to handle and I lean closer almost involuntarily, Kai doing the same to close the gap between us. The kiss is gentler this time, slower. Kai cups my face with their free hand and I feel small and safe once again. It feels like they're afraid to break me and I can't blame them. I probably would have broken already if Kai hadn't shown up here.

I had the room service menu open, the fancy cocktails written out in full detail with bottles of wine listed next to them. The mini bar in my room had been cleared out prior to my arrival, as usual. But still, it would've been so easy to order a bottle and forget everything just for a minute.

Kai's kiss is just as intoxicating and works wonders on making me forget as well. I pull them closer and they follow suit, deepening it further. I can tell that Kai is holding back, trying to be gentle and not get lost in the kiss. We are sat on a bed in a hotel room so one of us holding back is probably a good idea.

Physics interrupts us eventually and we have to pull away to catch our breaths. Kai rests their forehead against mine just like last night and I refuse to open my eyes, using the final seconds of calmness and safety inside of me to get the words out.

"I have a brain tumor and I'm scared that it's the reason why I'm falling for you."