N.Y.I.Y.T.R. | Ryujin Nippon One Shots

Protected | I.Y. [A]

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Sexual Assault, Trauma, Abuse.

A/N: The first story of my angst series!!!

A very dialogue-heavy chapter that I know might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I hope I'm able to spread a good message through this.

Enjoy xx

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When Ishikawa found out that you were a victim of childhood sexual assault on your first month of dating, he genuinely didn't know what to say.

Not because he was apathetic, but because he never would've guessed something like that happened to you. Right from the start, you always carried yourself with so much poise and dignity; qualities of yours that attracted him in the first place. So when you slipped in the new piece of information during one of your late-night walks, he felt an unpleasant feeling bubble in his stomach.

With two sisters and a mother he holds very dear, he can't even begin to explain how outraged he would be if they went through the same thing. More so if it was you, the woman his life is currently revolving around.

You revealed it so nonchalantly he would've believed you when you said it wasn't such a big deal anymore, but the look in your eyes said otherwise. He didn't have to know you for long to realize that going through that at such a young age would have a huge impact on your adult life.

For starters, he noticed you weren't much into physical intimacy. You didn't reject it per se, but you don't necessarily initiate it either. The most you do is link your arms with his or lean your head on his shoulders.

He knew it wasn't conventional, but it wasn't something he was disappointed at either. Ishikawa has so much respect for you that he's willing to put in the work just to ease you in.

Of course, it comes off as an eyebrow-raiser to the people around him when he reveals that you guys are yet to do the deed, but he knows you're trying your best to be open to the idea. He'd be the biggest dick in the world if he rushes you into doing something you're already working towards.

"I was 8-years-old," he remembers you saying, gaze fixed on the calm river as you recall one of the most scarring moments of your life. "He was our family driver. I thought he was a nice guy at first... until my parents left me in the house with him." Ishikawa will never forget the pulsating sting in his heart when your voice cracked from the heaviness of your memory.

He stayed silent for a couple of seconds, unable to articulate his response. You must've been used to that kind of reaction because you immediately lightened the mood with your next words.

"It's in the past though. I'm over it!" you smiled, but you can't fool him. Not when you still wake up in the middle of the night shaken and sweaty from your occasional nightmares.

He wanted to help you, but there was only so much he could do for someone clearly rejecting help. Since then, he's never brought it up, afraid that it would only trigger you further.

It was a cold Friday night when Ishikawa received a text message from you, letting him know that you won't be able to hang at his place due to prior work commitments. You were a known workaholic so something like this wasn't out of the blue, so although he doesn't approve of your poor work-life balance, he couldn't do much to stop you.