Book One of the Kyon Series
Can love be found in the darkest of night with no desire for hope and no hope for life?
✨Akshara Goenka ✨
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P.s. Mature Themes includes suicidal mentions, depression, anxieties and panic attacks, addiction and loneliness...
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A/N: Trigger warning, anxieties, panic attacks, depression and thoughts of self harm are explicit in the chapter. Don't read if you get triggered by them. Nothing in detail.
5. definition of forever
Emotionally Foolish
Akshara sighed, sitting back on the lawn chair as she remembered what her sister told her in a fit of anger.
Nothing was false though. Everything Arohi said was true, Akshara reminded herself, she was a fool, she was a anxious, lowlife and a emotionally foolish person. That is why she was so different from the rest of the world, so reserved and unlike the people her age.
Everyone was moving forward, her friends had given up on her and were really happy in their lives, her colleagues, her peers were already such known people in the world, they had gotten a name for themselves, they were all independent and happy.
And here she was, unemployed, no aim in life and seeking treatments for something she knew wouldn't be healed.
Akshara looked at the night sky, she could only see one shining star and she gulped, heavy feelings trembling inside her. As always, she was anxious and tired, without doing anything and as always, she had accomplished nothing. She would often think that if she wasn't there, would anyone even miss her or notice her absence?
The world wouldn't stop, and neither would her loved ones.
Maybe they'd not even remember me, she thought, maybe they'd be thankful I'm gone.
What do she even bring to the family? She changed jobs every two weeks owing to her anxieties and state of mind, she never really had a conversation with them, she couldn't even bring herself to tell them how much she loved them. Her anxieties and her feelings would often drown her from the current state and bring her to the past.
Maybe she should go. Maybe she should just give up. That would do everyone good.
Kairav bhaiya wouldn't have to work hard for her, Arohi could freely work with her patients without worrying about a permanent patient, her family could relax and enjoy their meals and be free without any burden.
Things could get so much easier without her.
And her breathing increased, and she could feel her heart getting heavier, she got up, tried relaxing herself with the breathing technique Aru had helped her with.
