This is How I Feel About You, Starlight | Seongjoong

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It's fine, everything's fine.

Hongjoong has made peace with the fact that he is miserably in love with Park Seonghwa and there is literally nothing he can do about it.

First few weeks had been hell. He had just panicked and avoided Seonghwa like the plague which did approximately nothing to help. On the contrary, it made Seonghwa sad and wary and he started to pay more attention to Hongjoong and that was the exact opposite of what Hongjoong wanted.

So now he tries to act as normally as he can manage without dying and it's all fine, everything's fine.

But...

Hongjoong is only human after all, and despite being extremely good at controlling himself, sometimes he can't help the staring.

Not when Seonghwa is all dolled up for a performance, round eyes big and sparkling, lips shiny and tinted even pinker, pretty clothes hugging his pretty body, looking all kinds of ethereal and it is painful to be around him in the confines of that small waiting room.

Not when drops of sweat slowly roll down Seonghwa's face down to his neck and collarbones as he rests his head against the wall of their practise room late at night before starting to go over the routine once again.

Not when Seonghwa is perfecting his eyes half–lidded, chin tilted up, and lips wet and parted stage expressions and using that damned tongue in front of the mirror in the same practise room, his shirt sticking to his skin and Hongjoong's throat dries in mere seconds.

Not when Seonghwa is freshly out of shower, hair damp and falling over his eyes, his clean and floral scent permeating the air, sleep clothes making him softer and more irresistible than any being has right to be.

Not when Seonghwa is lying on his bed under the soft yellow shades of the bedside lamp, listening to ASMR or reading something with occasional giggles, being breathtaking for literally no reason.

Not when Seonghwa is in the kitchen, concentrating on the recipe he's trying, the apron's ties wrapped twice around his small waist, and Hongjoong just wants to wrap his arms around the said waist instead of the ties, wants to press his face between his shoulder blades to feel his warmth and wants to also press some kisses on the bare skin of his neck, if he's lucky.

Not when Seonghwa is giving Hongjoong sweet smiles with his shiny perfect lips, and his warm eyes sparkling, lingering touches on his arm and shoulder, his head tilting to the side while he gives his full focus to Hongjoong.

Not when Seonghwa seems doting on Hongjoong more and more, his undivided attention fixed on the younger, listening to his ramblings attentively and caring about him in such ways that make Hongjoong want to curl in himself and scream his lungs out.

Not when Seonghwa blushes a pretty pink after Hongjoong word-vomits a stream of praises for him, smiling shy and devastating and Hongjoong is just overwhelmed with the elder's mere existence.

So yes, Hongjoong is only human but apparently Park Seonghwa is made of the finest starlight in the universe.

But it's fine, everything's fine. Hongjoong has made peace with his misery and he knows he has it all okay since he won't let anything show.

Until one day, out of nowhere, a stupid rumour reaches them.

"Hyung hyung look at this!" Wooyoung barges into their room with his cackle too loud for – Hongjoong grabs his phone and squints at the screen – 08:36 in the morning of a precious off-day.