On my honor

2

The sun rises but the day still holds darkness as mother dresses me in black and loaded me in the wagon and we travel to church. Clouds clutter the sky and release a cool wet rain adding to the depressing atmosphere. We gathered around a shallow hole borrowed in the earth where my brother shall lay in rest.

"We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Nicholas sterling, may thy young soul walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil; for thou, lord be art by his side. Dear Lord forgive any sin from this young man and in your goodness of grace Lord carry his soul to your sacred Haven and may his vessel lay in your great creation in peace. Oh my Lord grant blessing to thy family and may this not taint their soul for the blessing in which I pry be a brief mourning" the priest spoke a tinder prayer

Thunder cracks  across the grey sky making me jump at the unexpected disturbance. I held on tightly to the rose I was given, the thorns stab my flesh but I feel no pain as blood covered the precious flower. Mother tosses a fist full of dirt on my brothers grave then gently released her rose causing a chain reaction as everyone else done the same leaving only me left.

"Bianca come on throw the rose in the hole" mother whispered softly in my ear

My head sunk down and tears filled my eyes and escapes down my cheeks

"No!" I exclaimed

Everyone gasped at my outburst

"Bianca! That is no way to behave!" Mother scolded

"I won't let him go! I'm not ready to let go!" I sobbed as my watery eyes gaze up at mother dull ones

"Bianca I know we all don't want Nicholas to be gone and he's not he's in our hearts now let go of the rose look what it's doing to your hands" mother said as she gets to my level

I drop the rose and wrapped my bloody hands around her neck and cried heavily in her chest

"Mother you promise he'll always be with me?" I asked with a whimper

"I promise me your father and Nicholas will always be with you," mother said comfortingly

I picked up the blood-covered rose and a handful of dirt and tossed them both into the hole

We all went home and mother bandages my hands. The rain just kept pouring down forcing us to stay in. Mother sewed her quilt and father sharpened his knives. I on the other hand stayed on my bed staring at Nicholas's things.

"Bianca if you keep staring you're going to go blind now come over here and sit by the fire" mother called from her rocking chair

I did as told and sat on the floor by the fireplace

"See nice and warm" mother said rubbing my shoulder

I stood up and walked back towards the beds and grabbed Nicholas's quilt and wrapped it around me and headed back to mother