Ethereal - Kang Sae-byeok imagines - squid game

Insecure

Insecure

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Short summary: the reader doesn't think they are good enough for Sae-byeok.

Trigger warnings: mentions of self-doubt, insecurities, paranoia.

Word counter: 1800

"Are you sure that everything is okay?" Sae-byeok asks for the fourth time today as your eyes remain glued to the screen of your phone.

It had been like this for a while now, and Sae-byeok was running out of patience. You appeared to be stuck in your thoughts, something that happens often nowadays. She couldn't put her finger on it; had she done something wrong? Are you annoyed with her? Sae-byeok has so many different thoughts running through her head that she decides to leave you to it and stomps her way up the stairs to the bedroom.

Alone and once again left to deal with the insecurities that lay beneath the surface, you stare at the now blank screen still in your own little world. You couldn't understand what someone like Sae-byeok was doing with someone like you. You were sure that she had some sort of motive "she isn't good enough for you," the voice echoes in your head at the words someone had said to your girlfriend. You knew words could be hurtful, but this had cut through your soul. You didn't stay long enough to hear a response from Sae-byeok, and maybe it was for the better.

You don't know how long you had been sitting there for, but by now, the world outside had gone dark, and the full moon was the only source of light peeking through the window. You had overstayed your welcome is the feeling your mind carries, and with that thought, you gather your belongings before making a swift but silent exit from the home of Kang Sae-byeok.

*The following day*

You wake up to the sound of birds and the sun on your face with a clock that reads 09:34 on your bedside cabinet. Today being one of your uneventful days this week, you decide that you would simply shower, have some breakfast and then open up your scrapbook to draw your feelings away. You can't help but open the very first page where you find the sketch you did of Sae-byeok purely on muscle memory. You stare at it for the longest time as your memories of the past rush back, all the time you had spent together, all the dates, the laughs. Maybe it was all a lie.

Anyone with a set of eyes could see how much Sae-byeok cared for you, but your mind just didn't want to allow it. You continue to shut your girlfriend out for this day and the one that follows, but the morning after next brings a very impatient and also determined Sae-byeok back into the fold. Your phone rings for the twentieth time since you last spoke to her, and this time, something inside you tells you to answer. You couldn't just ignore her forever.

"Y/N! What the fuck? I've been worried sick about you... Where have you been?" She asks with a voice laced with urgency and worry. However, your laidback response does little to calm her. If anything, you added more fuel to the fire. And this time, she wasn't walking away; this time, she demanded answers.

"Come round to mine when you are free. Because we need to talk." Is all she says, but already your mind had made the story in your head become more prominent. This is it; she wants to break up with you in person. Perhaps that person she was speaking to that day was able to change her mind after all.

You begrudgingly get your things together and make your way through the pouring rain towards the home of Kang Sae-byeok. That little voice once again returns as you look at your reflection in a car you pass by. "She isn't good enough. She isn't good enough," it repeats over and over again until you finally arrive at your destination.